Apparently, I give off the impression that I'm an anglo-phile in the office.
So much so that my colleagues call me "kang tang" (potato)
So much so that today, a new colleague wanted me to pass something to someone else, and asked if I understood the meaning of "lom bang"
Sheesh!
But my dear Sister-in-law has developed a new term for people like me, who appear very ang-moh pai, but are actually not.
She calls B1.... SWEET POTATO.... wahahahaha....
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Toss & Turn
Did something I had to do last night.
And after that, my confidence was shattered. Anxiety, uncertainty, self-doubt led to rage, frustration and insomnia.
But I will bounce back soon enough.
And usher the New Year in with a smile. =)
And after that, my confidence was shattered. Anxiety, uncertainty, self-doubt led to rage, frustration and insomnia.
But I will bounce back soon enough.
And usher the New Year in with a smile. =)
Monday, December 29, 2008
Bounce Back
While I agree that everyone takes a different period of time to heal, I am a firm believer of bouncing back quickly.
Life is full of opportunities, half-chances - which one needs to be ready to grab. And some of these chances don't knock twice.
Life is full of opportunities, half-chances - which one needs to be ready to grab. And some of these chances don't knock twice.
Come to realise the lesson learnt, internalise it quickly, come to terms with the issues and move on. Its not easy doing this alone, but having good friends / family who are there to support you do help.
Seek these people out and thank them for reaching out to you. Sometimes, we just don't have enough in us to help ourselves.
Seek these people out and thank them for reaching out to you. Sometimes, we just don't have enough in us to help ourselves.
Friday, December 26, 2008
When You Hate Your Job
When you have a 'I Hate My Job' day, try this:
On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson
Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.
Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favourite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.
Now the fun part begins.
Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement:
'Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized. '
Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,' I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.'
HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE A** THAN YOURS!
On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson
Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.
Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favourite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.
Now the fun part begins.
Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement:
'Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized. '
Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,' I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.'
HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE A** THAN YOURS!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Helplessness
I was startled out of bed this morning by a nightmare.
I was taking an English exam in a school classroom. I was seated and felt confident in taking the paper.
But at the last moment before the exam started, someone told me that I was in the wrong seat.
I got up, and ran. Up and down stairs, across corridors, trying to match the seat number listed on my candidate slip to the list of numbers that hung outside every classroom door.
I was panting, and panicking as I watched the clock run down towards to end of the paper.
I ran and ran, increasing in despair as the clock ticked. I still couldn't find my seat!
I finally ran into this teacher along a corridor, she directed me into the classroom where my seat was.
I finally found my seat, sat down, and started writing. Thats when I woke up.
---
The emotion that first came over me was one of helplessness. That all the running around was leading me no closer to my destination. That as hard as I tried, I could not find what I was looking for.
Until.
I ran into that teacher. And she led me out of my loop.
That got me thinking about how sometimes, we all need that hand from the outside to pull us out of our loops, our helplessness. And that we sometimes just don't have enough in ourselves to help ourselves.
I was taking an English exam in a school classroom. I was seated and felt confident in taking the paper.
But at the last moment before the exam started, someone told me that I was in the wrong seat.
I got up, and ran. Up and down stairs, across corridors, trying to match the seat number listed on my candidate slip to the list of numbers that hung outside every classroom door.
I was panting, and panicking as I watched the clock run down towards to end of the paper.
I ran and ran, increasing in despair as the clock ticked. I still couldn't find my seat!
I finally ran into this teacher along a corridor, she directed me into the classroom where my seat was.
I finally found my seat, sat down, and started writing. Thats when I woke up.
---
The emotion that first came over me was one of helplessness. That all the running around was leading me no closer to my destination. That as hard as I tried, I could not find what I was looking for.
Until.
I ran into that teacher. And she led me out of my loop.
That got me thinking about how sometimes, we all need that hand from the outside to pull us out of our loops, our helplessness. And that we sometimes just don't have enough in ourselves to help ourselves.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Whatever Floats My Boat...
Sometimes...
Knowing that I've done enough to affect other people's lives positively makes me feel slightly better about myself.
And for now, its sufficient for me to get by on.
Knowing that I've done enough to affect other people's lives positively makes me feel slightly better about myself.
And for now, its sufficient for me to get by on.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Win a BKT Session!
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Have I mentioned that I really do like my bah kut teh? And that I have traveled all over Singapore tasting the various ones?Here's the contest. If you can identify the 2 separate outlets featured in the photos above? I'll take you out to bah kut teh!
Hints - The first photo is a claypot, black BKT; the second uses charcoal to boil its hot water for tea. Come on, there can't be that many such outlets left!
Have fun guessing! Post answers in comments section. =)
Hints - The first photo is a claypot, black BKT; the second uses charcoal to boil its hot water for tea. Come on, there can't be that many such outlets left!
Have fun guessing! Post answers in comments section. =)
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
The Right Investment
In spite of all my moody, depressing, emotional crap that I have been posting online... I'm doing fine...
And that's in part because of all my friends who have congregated around and offered support / encouragement.
It just goes to show that I have invested in the right people.
And all that stick I used to receive about me putting them in front of us is rubbish. =)
And that's in part because of all my friends who have congregated around and offered support / encouragement.
It just goes to show that I have invested in the right people.
And all that stick I used to receive about me putting them in front of us is rubbish. =)
Monday, December 15, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Stalled
Work motivation engine has stalled...
Need to get it running again... on a Friday afternoon. Urgh.
Need to get it running again... on a Friday afternoon. Urgh.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Sex And The City
I finally watched SATC last night. It was a great movie.
You should stop reading here if you don't want to hear my "ovaries" talking.
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It was a really sweet movie. And having not caught it for so long after its release, I've heard all about the ending from friends who have seen it. And even with that in mind, I thought it was a good movie at the end.
This is not a movie that you should watch alone. Nor is it a movie you should watch when your emotional state is not at its best. If a 45min episode of SATC was too emo for you, imagine sitting through 2.5 hours of it.
What I liked about the movie was that it was so real. And what was happening to the characters is quite true to life. You get to see what the "other" party is thinking / going through - which you don't get a chance to in real life.
For a brief moment, I contemplated doing what Miranda did at 1:51 in the movie. But I shouldn't.... Or should I?
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Her Life in Boxes
You count them as they move out of the door.
Her eyes, your heart, moist with regret, helplessness,
There are so many things we wished we could have done,
So many words we had wanted to say,
Too many what-ifs, could haves, should haves,
We count the boxes as the move out of the door.
Out of your life, but not out of your heart,
All that is left, is emptiness, where the boxes used to be.
Her life should not be just a number of boxes.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Distractions
Books are a distraction.
Television is a distraction.
Work is a distraction.
Alcohol is a distraction
They take you away to a different place, away from the problem, however briefly.
But why don't we just address the problem?
Maybe its because we just don't have the answers, or because its not within our control, because we cannot bear to solve it, or maybe, just maybe, because the problem seems so insurmountable.
Distractions are necessary.
Television is a distraction.
Work is a distraction.
Alcohol is a distraction
They take you away to a different place, away from the problem, however briefly.
But why don't we just address the problem?
Maybe its because we just don't have the answers, or because its not within our control, because we cannot bear to solve it, or maybe, just maybe, because the problem seems so insurmountable.
Distractions are necessary.
Monday, December 01, 2008
Cape Number 7
I watched Cape No. 7 last Friday. The plot, is best described if you follow this link. The show is random, and all over the place, but you do walk out of the cinema feeling very satisfied. Its a romantic Taiwanese movie, peppered with the use of the Ming Nan language, so it helps if you understand Hokkien.
Go catch it!
Go catch it!
Friday, November 28, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Happiness Is...
Happiness is...
* Taking a longer lunch to Old Airport Road hawker centre to eat your favourite lor mee.
* Having your good friend speak to your mom like she's part of an extended family.
* Having something to look forward to after a dreary day at work.
* Taking a longer lunch to Old Airport Road hawker centre to eat your favourite lor mee.
* Having your good friend speak to your mom like she's part of an extended family.
* Having something to look forward to after a dreary day at work.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
Enemies Before Friends
I never believed it till now...
That maybe, you need to express your hate, anger, resentment and disappointment in someone before you may even have the chance to be friends.
Its like venting all the pent up rage and before you can let it go and not allow to remain a blockage.
Its just something I have to do now...
That maybe, you need to express your hate, anger, resentment and disappointment in someone before you may even have the chance to be friends.
Its like venting all the pent up rage and before you can let it go and not allow to remain a blockage.
Its just something I have to do now...
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Lindsay Price
I've been catching episodes of Lipstick Jungle, and its good. It is written by Candace Bushnell, who wrote Sex And The City. The show is about the lives of 3 good friends who are powerful career women and living in NYC.
Storyline is good. Actors are good. Lindsay (above) is hot.
What's there not to like?
Friday, November 21, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Everyone Needs a Hug Sometime
Everyone needs a hug at some point in time.
Don't knock it, but the curative powers of a simple act such as a hug is amazing (well, at least to me)
Knowing the someone out there cares and feels what you are going through... the effect of words pale in comparison to what a hug communicates.
Don't knock it, but the curative powers of a simple act such as a hug is amazing (well, at least to me)
Knowing the someone out there cares and feels what you are going through... the effect of words pale in comparison to what a hug communicates.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Strength
Most of us do not realise it, but we all have a latent amount of strength that we can tap on. Mind you, I’m not talking about physical strength, but rather the emotional and psychological strengths that we have.
Take an example, of putting a brave front and facing a bunch of friends after a heart-break. When all you want is to crawl into bed and stay there. It takes strength to face them and to reassure them that you are alright, when clearly, your emotions may be tumultuous inside.
Or for you to smile in the office everyday, and to try to do your very best, in the face of retrenchments happening in other departments.
We all have more strength than we know.
And we build this strength from past experience and mental toughening, and draw more from external sources such as the love showered by friends and family.
It takes a lot of strength to do certain things, like calling a tough customer, knowing that you will get screamed at.
But this strength may be bolstered by courage, and the moral responsibility of doing a right thing.
Draw on your strength today, and if you need more, you know where to look for it.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Realisation
That if I didn't want it then, that I won't want it now.
That I have not changed my "core" in the last few years - when I know I have changed in many other ways.
That this time, looking forward is more important than looking back.
That I have not changed my "core" in the last few years - when I know I have changed in many other ways.
That this time, looking forward is more important than looking back.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
Monday, November 03, 2008
Avenue Q
I caught Avenue Q over the weekend with some friends. And it was hilarious! Do have a beer to loosen up before you watch the musical. Gets you in the mood. =)
The actors were amazing with their voices, and surprisingly, were able to convey the expressions of the muppets very well.
Although, I must say some friends did not enjoy the musical as much due to the strong American-accent and American-tinted humour.
But go catch it!
Analogies...
I believe that analogies help describe one's situation a lot better. It is an excursion away from the topic, but describes the topic in a way the listener can relate or empathise.
As such, I'm a big fan of using analogies. I try to make them witty, relevant and in some cases, cryptic.
One thought has been stuck in my head all weekend.
That although that Ferrari looked like all I wanted, I shouldn't have bought it without the engine. No matter how good or ideal the car looked, it was the engine which was the most important part. And when there is no point having the chassis, without the engine.
Self-rationalisation. It is a good step towards recovery.
As such, I'm a big fan of using analogies. I try to make them witty, relevant and in some cases, cryptic.
One thought has been stuck in my head all weekend.
That although that Ferrari looked like all I wanted, I shouldn't have bought it without the engine. No matter how good or ideal the car looked, it was the engine which was the most important part. And when there is no point having the chassis, without the engine.
Self-rationalisation. It is a good step towards recovery.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Good Karma
Been generating a lot of good karma recently. I hope...
But here's the question. Is it good karma if I do it consciously hoping to generate good karma?
But here's the question. Is it good karma if I do it consciously hoping to generate good karma?
Thursday, October 30, 2008
I Secretly Wish...
That someone would catch me before I hit the slippery slope.
But then again...
If no one does, I might have some fun anyways.
But then again...
If no one does, I might have some fun anyways.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
A Wise Man Once Said...
An old Chinese saying...
The biggest hurdle is usually oneself.
How true...
I've come to realise that in many situations, its what I do which determines whether I get deeper into the problem, or I resolve it.
And as rational as I am most of the time, sometimes, I take the slippery slope.
The greatest hurdle, is... ME.
The biggest hurdle is usually oneself.
How true...
I've come to realise that in many situations, its what I do which determines whether I get deeper into the problem, or I resolve it.
And as rational as I am most of the time, sometimes, I take the slippery slope.
The greatest hurdle, is... ME.
Sitcoms
Been watching How I Met Your Mother recently...
Its funny how I relate to the characters in sitcoms and let these affect my life (for the better).
Last time round, it was Earl in My Name is Earl with regards to karma.
This time, its Ted, and what happens to him as a result of him being him. Its like watching my life on the television! Very thought provoking.
AWESOME keeps getting more and more AWESOME!
Its funny how I relate to the characters in sitcoms and let these affect my life (for the better).
Last time round, it was Earl in My Name is Earl with regards to karma.
This time, its Ted, and what happens to him as a result of him being him. Its like watching my life on the television! Very thought provoking.
AWESOME keeps getting more and more AWESOME!
Monday, October 20, 2008
TV
Knight Rider 2008 sucks.
How I Met Your Mother rocks. So does Lipstick Jungle.
New season of House, Grey's, CSI are still great watching.
I think I'm watching too much tv. =P
How I Met Your Mother rocks. So does Lipstick Jungle.
New season of House, Grey's, CSI are still great watching.
I think I'm watching too much tv. =P
Random Musings for which I have no answers to.
Thoughts over the weekend...
1. Does time really heal all wounds including betrayal? Or do we just become apathetic towards the past?
2. Holding on to hope is not always good for you.
3. Knowing when something is over is the hardest call, and also the hardest one to reconcile with yourself.
4. It shouldn't need that much work for it to work.
1. Does time really heal all wounds including betrayal? Or do we just become apathetic towards the past?
2. Holding on to hope is not always good for you.
3. Knowing when something is over is the hardest call, and also the hardest one to reconcile with yourself.
4. It shouldn't need that much work for it to work.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Malaysian Cops
As a continuation to my earlier post about the state of the police Malaysia...
Today, we learn something new.
That cops there are moving their station because the area is "potentially unsafe".
So what have we learnt today, kids?
1. That cops are corrupt.
2. That they are scared of crooks.
In conclusion, we beg to ask. Why are the taxpayers paying them for?
Today, we learn something new.
That cops there are moving their station because the area is "potentially unsafe".
So what have we learnt today, kids?
1. That cops are corrupt.
2. That they are scared of crooks.
In conclusion, we beg to ask. Why are the taxpayers paying them for?
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Sadness is...
Sadness is...
the despair a single mom feels...
waiting all your life to find your soulmate, only to have her taken away by someone you invited into you home...
finding out that all you've worked for is lost, because of a rouge banker who misrepresented a structured product...
I am not sad. I have everything to look forward to.
the despair a single mom feels...
waiting all your life to find your soulmate, only to have her taken away by someone you invited into you home...
finding out that all you've worked for is lost, because of a rouge banker who misrepresented a structured product...
I am not sad. I have everything to look forward to.
Dreams
Dreams.
What purpose do they serve?
Do they serve to consolidate what you have encountered during the day, and install it into your long term memory bank? (like when you dream of something you did, like chairing a meeting)
Do they serve to represent your wants, desires? (like when you dream of walking down the streets of Paris)
Do they serve as a warning of impending events? (deja vu)
Whatever the case, many dreams don't make sense. Your rational brain mixes with your subconcious brain, resulting in a motion picture which is part logical, but mostly illogical. (like dreaming of fish that talk)
Dreams. We can be haunted by them.
What purpose do they serve?
Do they serve to consolidate what you have encountered during the day, and install it into your long term memory bank? (like when you dream of something you did, like chairing a meeting)
Do they serve to represent your wants, desires? (like when you dream of walking down the streets of Paris)
Do they serve as a warning of impending events? (deja vu)
Whatever the case, many dreams don't make sense. Your rational brain mixes with your subconcious brain, resulting in a motion picture which is part logical, but mostly illogical. (like dreaming of fish that talk)
Dreams. We can be haunted by them.
Disturbing
Disturbing is when 15 year olds you have on FB match with you on quizzes such as "Favourite Sex Position", "Aphrodisiacs", etc.
Urgh.
Kinda puts me off doing any more such quizzes. But then again, that wouldn't stop them, would it?
Urgh.
Kinda puts me off doing any more such quizzes. But then again, that wouldn't stop them, would it?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Reading
Some days (like today), I amaze even myself at my ability to read people.
But then again, sometimes, the closer they are to you, the harder they are to read.
But then again, sometimes, the closer they are to you, the harder they are to read.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
George Carlin
Chanced upon this list of George Carlin's quotes. This is the guy who created the line, "one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor."
Its hilarious. Go read.
Its hilarious. Go read.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Getting into the groove
It will take awhile, but I guess there is no choice...
Life as a single person takes a bit of getting used to. Well, in my case, that's perhaps cos I was married for 2.5 years. Heh.
Its ironic that I used to like having my own time... little did I realise that I liked to have my own time, but have the immediate option of doing something else with someone I'm comfortable with.
As CPL said to me on Friday night. It will take awhile, but I'll get there. To be happy being alone, that is. =)
Life as a single person takes a bit of getting used to. Well, in my case, that's perhaps cos I was married for 2.5 years. Heh.
Its ironic that I used to like having my own time... little did I realise that I liked to have my own time, but have the immediate option of doing something else with someone I'm comfortable with.
As CPL said to me on Friday night. It will take awhile, but I'll get there. To be happy being alone, that is. =)
Friday, October 10, 2008
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Trust
If there was a theme for this week for me, it would have been entitled "Trust".
The issue of Trust has come up so often this week that it has really got me thinking. In our complex human society, trust is the glue that binds individuals who have come together to interact.
With friends, you share secrets, you act so as not hurt them, you do things for them without them asking.
All these take a certain amount of trust to be granted and received.
What happens when that trust is lost? I have been on both sides of misplaced trust this week, both as the person who lost it because I did something wrong, and as the person whose trust in someone has been misplaced.
Tiring man.
Sigh.
The issue of Trust has come up so often this week that it has really got me thinking. In our complex human society, trust is the glue that binds individuals who have come together to interact.
With friends, you share secrets, you act so as not hurt them, you do things for them without them asking.
All these take a certain amount of trust to be granted and received.
What happens when that trust is lost? I have been on both sides of misplaced trust this week, both as the person who lost it because I did something wrong, and as the person whose trust in someone has been misplaced.
Tiring man.
Sigh.
Drama
Why oh why?
Is my life full of such drama? I clearly do not enjoy having to deal with them...
Am I doing things subconsciously for such drama to befall on me? I certainly do not think so, because I don't treat the people involved differently.
Its tiring, and its going to be painful. But this band aid is coming off.
Is my life full of such drama? I clearly do not enjoy having to deal with them...
Am I doing things subconsciously for such drama to befall on me? I certainly do not think so, because I don't treat the people involved differently.
Its tiring, and its going to be painful. But this band aid is coming off.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Random Musings III
The longer you leave a band-aid on, the more its going to hurt when you finally decide to rip it off.
So why wait?
Rip it off sooner.
So why wait?
Rip it off sooner.
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
TLC Price Hikes!
This is stupid.
On the back of record profits, all the Temasek-linked companies (who probably got the nod from "up there") are taking turn to raise prices. You wonder if the CEOs were all gathered and given one by one approvals on who can raise prices, the order they can go in and the time to make announcements.
So first we had SPH, then SingPower, then Singtel... what next?
Of course, the reason given is always the increased cost of raw materials, and to maximise shareholder value.
But our market is quite unique.
A lot of these companies are "nationalised" - linked to a government funded company. As such, shouldn't they be made to help check inflation, rather than increase the effects?
Minister says Singapore is likely to face a recession. Salaries are being cut. And the TLCs raise prices. Irony, no?
On the back of record profits, all the Temasek-linked companies (who probably got the nod from "up there") are taking turn to raise prices. You wonder if the CEOs were all gathered and given one by one approvals on who can raise prices, the order they can go in and the time to make announcements.
So first we had SPH, then SingPower, then Singtel... what next?
Of course, the reason given is always the increased cost of raw materials, and to maximise shareholder value.
But our market is quite unique.
A lot of these companies are "nationalised" - linked to a government funded company. As such, shouldn't they be made to help check inflation, rather than increase the effects?
Minister says Singapore is likely to face a recession. Salaries are being cut. And the TLCs raise prices. Irony, no?
Monday, October 06, 2008
The Smiling Weasel
So...
We went on a roadtrip to KL. And we were very fortunate that although we were breaking the speed limits both on the way up and way down, there were no road blocks.
But we did have an encounter with the boys in blue in Malaysia.
The situation was this.
Basically, we were having a night out on the town. A local friend had picked us up and being the designated driver, he did not drink. The rest of us had a moderate amount... not enough to get drunk, but definitely enough to develop the late night supper pangs.
And so, we drove back towards KLCC and pulled into an open air carpark to input our destination (some mamak) into his GPS. All of the sudden, a police car pulled over, asked the driver to get out, and upon finding out that we were all Singaporeans, started accusing us of taking drugs.
We were adamant that we were clean, but there Mr Policeman was smiling, shining torches into our faces, saying well we should just follow him back into the station for a urine test. The best part was, he was smiling throughout (like some good service provider) when we were insisting we were just looking for a mamak.
Eventually we got bored and offered him a "tip" to let us off. Do you know what the best part was?
After we paid him off... he gave us directions to a mamak. "-_-
Sigh....
We went on a roadtrip to KL. And we were very fortunate that although we were breaking the speed limits both on the way up and way down, there were no road blocks.
But we did have an encounter with the boys in blue in Malaysia.
The situation was this.
Basically, we were having a night out on the town. A local friend had picked us up and being the designated driver, he did not drink. The rest of us had a moderate amount... not enough to get drunk, but definitely enough to develop the late night supper pangs.
And so, we drove back towards KLCC and pulled into an open air carpark to input our destination (some mamak) into his GPS. All of the sudden, a police car pulled over, asked the driver to get out, and upon finding out that we were all Singaporeans, started accusing us of taking drugs.
We were adamant that we were clean, but there Mr Policeman was smiling, shining torches into our faces, saying well we should just follow him back into the station for a urine test. The best part was, he was smiling throughout (like some good service provider) when we were insisting we were just looking for a mamak.
Eventually we got bored and offered him a "tip" to let us off. Do you know what the best part was?
After we paid him off... he gave us directions to a mamak. "-_-
Sigh....
Radish
Men are quite poor things.
Women do expect men to provide for them. Whilst I have no issues with this, fact of the matter is, what is my payback?
Hence, I am of the opinion that if you want me to give freely and willingly, you need to give me something in return.
Women do expect men to provide for them. Whilst I have no issues with this, fact of the matter is, what is my payback?
Hence, I am of the opinion that if you want me to give freely and willingly, you need to give me something in return.
Complicated
Just when you thought you know someone, you wake up one day, and realise that you don't know him at all...
Life is really complicated.
Life is really complicated.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Confused
Why does something that feels right also feel so wrong?
Shall be looking to take my mind off things....
Catch you all on Monday!
Shall be looking to take my mind off things....
Catch you all on Monday!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Rambling
Something is wrong with me.
As a friend commented during lunch, I'm rambling. Incoherent, Irrelevant, Nonsensical....
Need to find out why. Grr...
As a friend commented during lunch, I'm rambling. Incoherent, Irrelevant, Nonsensical....
Need to find out why. Grr...
Monday, September 29, 2008
Identity Crisis
You know how it is... People zhng their cars all the time, by placing spoilers, decals, or in this case, funny signs.
There is nothing wrong with the picture above.
But on closer inspection...
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Its on a Toyota. "-_-
Identity crisis or does he own a Honda that his partner uses to send the kids around?
Maximise the Bike
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Something that caught my eye... Innovative way of loading more stuff onto your motorbike. Looks dangerous though.
Change
When one has to change too much to accommodate your partner... perhaps you were too incompatible in the first place.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Moving Away from Competition
So I have a friend who is migrating to New Zealand. I asked her why.
She said its to get away from the fast pace of life here which does not allow her to "live like a human", and that she would like to bring up her 2 kids in a place where the kids can experience childhood and the parents don't feel pressured to send them to enrichment classes from the age of 2 onwards.
I agree with her comment somewhat, but can help but think...
In every major city (which Singapore is going to be) life is always fast paced. It breeds success. Similarly, parents send their children to classes to give them a heads up in life (although i agree, this has to be done in moderation). So in moving away, she is looking for another playing field to play in. Or as the title of this post suggests, moving away from the competition.
Well, she says she is only trying out for a few years. But i think, if you intend for your kids to play in this field in the future, then its better to start them playing here now. But who knows what the future holds right?
She said its to get away from the fast pace of life here which does not allow her to "live like a human", and that she would like to bring up her 2 kids in a place where the kids can experience childhood and the parents don't feel pressured to send them to enrichment classes from the age of 2 onwards.
I agree with her comment somewhat, but can help but think...
In every major city (which Singapore is going to be) life is always fast paced. It breeds success. Similarly, parents send their children to classes to give them a heads up in life (although i agree, this has to be done in moderation). So in moving away, she is looking for another playing field to play in. Or as the title of this post suggests, moving away from the competition.
Well, she says she is only trying out for a few years. But i think, if you intend for your kids to play in this field in the future, then its better to start them playing here now. But who knows what the future holds right?
The Elephant in the Room
Don't you just hate it when communication fails and parties stop talking to one another? This results in problems that will hover around but no one wants to talk about it, and hence it does not get solved.
Its like having an elephant in the room, something that everyone can see, but no one talks about.
Until the proverbial sh*t hits the fan.
By which time, it might be too late to even talk about it.
Communication is so important.
Its like having an elephant in the room, something that everyone can see, but no one talks about.
Until the proverbial sh*t hits the fan.
By which time, it might be too late to even talk about it.
Communication is so important.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
The Geek At Heart
Perhaps its a combination of the sleepless nights, the evenings at home, and watching B3 playing his Wii...
But something got me thinking...
Sure I know how to have fun, enjoy myself at parties, hold my drink, and in general, live life decadently...
But end of the day, I am a geek at heart.
Perhaps its a result of the strict upbringing in a conservative chinese household... or perhaps its just more nature than nurture...
But there is nothing I like more than to sit at home and watch my Anime / Discovery / Nat Geo, read the latest issue of Popular Science or Newsweek and generally do boring "geeky" stuff like driving up and down the KPE to see where the exits are.
I now believe that being a geek is my "base". And I wonder how I should reconcile my 2 halves.
But something got me thinking...
Sure I know how to have fun, enjoy myself at parties, hold my drink, and in general, live life decadently...
But end of the day, I am a geek at heart.
Perhaps its a result of the strict upbringing in a conservative chinese household... or perhaps its just more nature than nurture...
But there is nothing I like more than to sit at home and watch my Anime / Discovery / Nat Geo, read the latest issue of Popular Science or Newsweek and generally do boring "geeky" stuff like driving up and down the KPE to see where the exits are.
I now believe that being a geek is my "base". And I wonder how I should reconcile my 2 halves.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Time Flies
Time really doth fly...
Its almost the end of the year, and the beginning of party season.
Sept birthday bash, Oktoberfest, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Xmas, New Year...
F1 parties this week anyone?
Its almost the end of the year, and the beginning of party season.
Sept birthday bash, Oktoberfest, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Xmas, New Year...
F1 parties this week anyone?
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Absolutely Random
I think its a shame that women let themselves go after marriage / they have kids.
But hey, she seems happy.
Yeah yeah, shoot me for being shallow.
But hey, she seems happy.
Yeah yeah, shoot me for being shallow.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
House
Thank goodness, House is back on TV. Go catch Season 5 now!
More Hugh Laurie's arrogant greatness. =)
More Hugh Laurie's arrogant greatness. =)
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
A Minor Altercation
Had a minor altercation with a close friend last night arising from some miscommunication (i think) as a result of Jack and Rai's stunning (and loud) performance.
That was settled, with no hard feelings after the incident.
On the drive home, I quietly smiled to myself...
I was pleased that we had reached a deeper level in our friendship. I had always believed that friends must be able to feel comfortable enough to flare at one another occasionally, and take comfort that all will be well the next morning.
A trial by fire so to speak. Friends who bear grudges easily are not worth having, in my book.
We have arrived at another level. =)
I'm pleased. And sorry for any misunderstanding, Mr Lo.
That was settled, with no hard feelings after the incident.
On the drive home, I quietly smiled to myself...
I was pleased that we had reached a deeper level in our friendship. I had always believed that friends must be able to feel comfortable enough to flare at one another occasionally, and take comfort that all will be well the next morning.
A trial by fire so to speak. Friends who bear grudges easily are not worth having, in my book.
We have arrived at another level. =)
I'm pleased. And sorry for any misunderstanding, Mr Lo.
Numbed
Perhaps it was because I was sleepy...
Perhaps it was because I wasn't paying attention...
Perhaps it was because I had the impression it was what it was...
But 2 nights ago, I sneaked a can drink from the fridge. I thought it was Pepsi. Opened it, and finished it. Sugar craving settled, I went to bed.
When I woke up the next morning, imagine my shock horror when I realised it was a can of Sprite! Now either the sugared-fizzy drinks are getting so sweet that tastebuds can't tell one from the other, or it was one of the reasons above.
I think its the former to be honest. Eek. No more sugar drinks for me.
Perhaps it was because I wasn't paying attention...
Perhaps it was because I had the impression it was what it was...
But 2 nights ago, I sneaked a can drink from the fridge. I thought it was Pepsi. Opened it, and finished it. Sugar craving settled, I went to bed.
When I woke up the next morning, imagine my shock horror when I realised it was a can of Sprite! Now either the sugared-fizzy drinks are getting so sweet that tastebuds can't tell one from the other, or it was one of the reasons above.
I think its the former to be honest. Eek. No more sugar drinks for me.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
This is Hilarious!
Confucius say...
...woman sitting in jelly have her ass in jam.
...man with penis in peanut butter, fucking nuts.
...man who puts penis in vaccuum cleaner, get sucked off.
...boy who lay girl on hill, not on level.
...man who lose key to girlfriend apartment, get no new-key!
...he who finger girl during period, get caught red-handed.
...he who smoke pot, choke on handle.
...woman who wear g-string, high on crack!
...he who stand on toilet, high on pot!
...boy who go to bed with sex problem on mind, wake up with solution on-hand!
...girl who bathe in vinegar, walk around with sour-puss!
...man with hand in bush, not nessarily trimming shrubs!
...man who masturbate into cash register, soon come into money!
...he who masturbate, screw only himself!
...he who walks thru airplane door sideways is going to Bangkok!
...dumb man climb tree to get cherry, wise man spread limbs!
...woman sitting in jelly have her ass in jam.
...man with penis in peanut butter, fucking nuts.
...man who puts penis in vaccuum cleaner, get sucked off.
...boy who lay girl on hill, not on level.
...man who lose key to girlfriend apartment, get no new-key!
...he who finger girl during period, get caught red-handed.
...he who smoke pot, choke on handle.
...woman who wear g-string, high on crack!
...he who stand on toilet, high on pot!
...boy who go to bed with sex problem on mind, wake up with solution on-hand!
...girl who bathe in vinegar, walk around with sour-puss!
...man with hand in bush, not nessarily trimming shrubs!
...man who masturbate into cash register, soon come into money!
...he who masturbate, screw only himself!
...he who walks thru airplane door sideways is going to Bangkok!
...dumb man climb tree to get cherry, wise man spread limbs!
Top ten things that sound dirty in golf but aren't
10. Nuts! ...my shaft is bent
9. After 18 holes I can barely walk
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker
7. Look at the size of his putter
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more
5. Mind if I join your threesome?
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it
3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip
2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in golf but isn't:
1. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first
9. After 18 holes I can barely walk
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker
7. Look at the size of his putter
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more
5. Mind if I join your threesome?
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it
3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip
2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in golf but isn't:
1. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Haha...
Slap me blue and call me Susan!
I just got forwarded an email from an Anji Ng...
Anjing? ("means silence in Mandarin")
Why do people do this to themselves? Haha...
I just got forwarded an email from an Anji Ng...
Anjing? ("means silence in Mandarin")
Why do people do this to themselves? Haha...
Monday, September 08, 2008
Zachary Syndrome
Mary is a middle aged woman. She is in the middle of her sexual prime and yet she still cannot get a date. For some reason men just do not want to go out with her. The only reason she can figure is it must be some hormonal imbalance or something. So she talks to her friends about it and they tell her of a Chinese doctor named Dr. Wong.
Mary takes her friend's advice and goes to see Dr. Wong. While in the office she tells the doctor her problem, and he tells her to strip and bend over grabbing her ankles. Dr.Wong checks her over and tells her, "You have Zachary Syndrome!"
She exclaims, "Oh my God! What does that mean Doctor?"
The doctor replies, "Your ass rook Zachary like you face!"
Mary takes her friend's advice and goes to see Dr. Wong. While in the office she tells the doctor her problem, and he tells her to strip and bend over grabbing her ankles. Dr.Wong checks her over and tells her, "You have Zachary Syndrome!"
She exclaims, "Oh my God! What does that mean Doctor?"
The doctor replies, "Your ass rook Zachary like you face!"
Friday, September 05, 2008
Funny Things
Bronco Style
A father, mother, and son were going to Europe and were going to visit the nude beaches while they were there. They didn't want the son to get a distorted view of beauty, so they told him that the men with really big dicks were really really dumb, and that the woman with really big tits were really really dumb. When they got to the beach they split up. Later the mother saw the son and asked where his dad was. The boy said, "Well, the last time I saw him he was talking to this really, really, really dumb blond, and the longer they talked the dumber he got."
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Celebration
There were three guys sitting and telling each other the best way they like to have sex. The first guy said, I like to do it sixty-nine. The second guy, said I like to do it doggy-style. The third guy said, well I like to do it bronco style. The two other guys were like what, what the fuck is bronco style. The third guy says, let me tell you what bronco style is, you start out doing it doggy-style then in the middle of doing it you lean down and whisper in her ear, "Your sister likes it this way to, then try and hold on for eight seconds."
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Dumb and Dumber
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Dumb and Dumber
A father, mother, and son were going to Europe and were going to visit the nude beaches while they were there. They didn't want the son to get a distorted view of beauty, so they told him that the men with really big dicks were really really dumb, and that the woman with really big tits were really really dumb. When they got to the beach they split up. Later the mother saw the son and asked where his dad was. The boy said, "Well, the last time I saw him he was talking to this really, really, really dumb blond, and the longer they talked the dumber he got."
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Celebration
A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots of tequila. The bartender asks, "Why so many buddy?" The man replies, "I'm celebrating my first blow job". The bartender says, "Well hell, congratulations, I will give you one on the house for free." The man says, "No thank you, if the first 6 shots don't get the taste out of my mouth one more won't make a difference."
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Random Musings
I should not watch anime just before I sleep. Results in weird nightmares...
So last night, in dreamland, together with Marcus and Ben Lee, we were voted together into the House of Commons, and fought akuma together.
Weird.
So freaky that I got jolted out of sleep. Haha...
So last night, in dreamland, together with Marcus and Ben Lee, we were voted together into the House of Commons, and fought akuma together.
Weird.
So freaky that I got jolted out of sleep. Haha...
Smoking Condoms
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.
Lady 1: "What's that?"
Lady 2: "A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet."
Lady 1: "Where did you get it?"
Lady 2: "You can get them at any drugstore."
The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of
age), but politely asks what brand she prefers.
Lady 1: "It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel."
The pharmacist fainted.
Lady 1: "What's that?"
Lady 2: "A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet."
Lady 1: "Where did you get it?"
Lady 2: "You can get them at any drugstore."
The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of
age), but politely asks what brand she prefers.
Lady 1: "It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel."
The pharmacist fainted.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Random Musings
If you don't get off your butt and start looking, you'll never find what you are looking for.
Even if you don't know what you are looking for, getting off your butt and poking around may turn up the answer.
- Brandon, 2008
Even if you don't know what you are looking for, getting off your butt and poking around may turn up the answer.
- Brandon, 2008
Some Women Decide to Play Golf
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the two some teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She said, "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow."
"Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be all right...I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch.
But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked him, "How does that feel?"
To which he replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She said, "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow."
"Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be all right...I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch.
But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked him, "How does that feel?"
To which he replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
The Effect of Ramadan
With Ramadan leading to Hari Raya Puasa... one bad effect is...
That in many of our neighbouring countries where corruption is rife, they are asking for more bribes to let goods through, let vehicles go for speeding etc...
You have been warned.
That in many of our neighbouring countries where corruption is rife, they are asking for more bribes to let goods through, let vehicles go for speeding etc...
You have been warned.
Pelvic Exam
A woman goes into the gynecologist for her first pelvic exam. Feeling a little uncomfortable, the woman slowly undresses, covers herself with a sheet, and then crawls up onto the examining table. The doctor walks in and orders the woman to put her feet into the stirrups. The woman obeys, and the doctor pulls up a stool and starts the examination. After a few minutes the woman asks, "Is everything OK, doc?" The doctor replies, "God! You have a huge vagina!" The woman, feeling completely humiliated, says, "Well, you didn't have to say it twice!" The doctor looks up and says, "I didn't!"
881 Redux
Having watched 881 and 12 Lotus, I was inspired to get in touch with my Hokkien roots and decided to get the DVDs and soundtrack CDs so I can listen to it on my drives and perhaps brush up on the language.
But it appeared that perhaps many others had the same idea and the 881 DVD and soundtrack was sold out in all 10 shops I went.
After weeks of searching, I finally found the 881 DVD last night at Sembawang Music!
Now, would anyone tell me where I can get the soundtrack? I only need the mp3s. =P
Monday, September 01, 2008
Small World
Two men are having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course, and they didn't bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette.
After two hours of waiting and waiting, one man said, "I think I'll walk up there and ask those gals to let us play through." He walked out to the fairway, got halfway to the ladies, stopped, turned around and came back, explaining, " I can't do it. One of those women is my wife and the other is my mistress. Maybe you'd better go talk to them."
The second man walked toward the ladies, go halfway there and, just as his partner had done, stopped, turned around and walked back.
He smiled sheepishly and said, "Small world!"
After two hours of waiting and waiting, one man said, "I think I'll walk up there and ask those gals to let us play through." He walked out to the fairway, got halfway to the ladies, stopped, turned around and came back, explaining, " I can't do it. One of those women is my wife and the other is my mistress. Maybe you'd better go talk to them."
The second man walked toward the ladies, go halfway there and, just as his partner had done, stopped, turned around and walked back.
He smiled sheepishly and said, "Small world!"
Friday, August 29, 2008
#$!%*&#!
I almost ran into a female Chinese cyclist today... grrr...
My car was less than 30 cm away from her bicycle, good thing she jumped off!
Cyclists should really follow the highway code and not jump out of pavements!
My car was less than 30 cm away from her bicycle, good thing she jumped off!
Cyclists should really follow the highway code and not jump out of pavements!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Joke of the Day
On the top of a tall building in a large city, there was a bar. In this bar, a man was drinking heavily. He would ask the bartender for a tequila shot, then walk out to the balcony and jump off. Minutes later, he would appear in the elevator and repeat the whole process. This one guy watched this happen a number of times until curiousity got the better of him. Finally, he went up to the man and asked, "Hey, you keep drinking, then jumping off the balcony. And yet, minutes later, you're back again. How do you do it?" "Well, the shot of tequila provides buoyancy such that when I get near the ground, I slow down and land gently. It's lots of fun. You should try it."
The guy, who was also quite drunk, thought to himself, "Hey, why not?" So he goes to the bar, drinks a shot of tequila, then walks out to the balcony, jumps off, and whooooooooooooo, splat. The bartender looks over at the first guy and says, "Superman, you're an asshole when you're drunk."
The guy, who was also quite drunk, thought to himself, "Hey, why not?" So he goes to the bar, drinks a shot of tequila, then walks out to the balcony, jumps off, and whooooooooooooo, splat. The bartender looks over at the first guy and says, "Superman, you're an asshole when you're drunk."
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Joke of the Day
The Foul-Mouthed Customer
A rather scruffy-looking man came into a bank. Reaching the head of the line, he said to the teller, "I wanna open a fucking checking account." "Certainly, sir," answered the teller, "but there's no need to use that kind of language."
"Couldja move it along lady? I just wanna open a fucking checking account," growled the would-be customer. "I'll be glad to be of service, sir," said the teller, flushing slightly, "but I would appreciate not being spoken to in that way."
"Just lemme open a fucking checking account, okay?" "I'm afraid I'm going to have to speak to the branch manager," said the pissed-off teller, slipping off her stool and returning shortly with a dapper middle-aged man who asked how he could be of service.
"I just won the ten-million dollar lottery, buddy," snarled the man, "and all I wanna do is open a fucking checking account." "I see," said the manager sympathetically. "And this BITCH is giving you trouble?"
"Couldja move it along lady? I just wanna open a fucking checking account," growled the would-be customer. "I'll be glad to be of service, sir," said the teller, flushing slightly, "but I would appreciate not being spoken to in that way."
"Just lemme open a fucking checking account, okay?" "I'm afraid I'm going to have to speak to the branch manager," said the pissed-off teller, slipping off her stool and returning shortly with a dapper middle-aged man who asked how he could be of service.
"I just won the ten-million dollar lottery, buddy," snarled the man, "and all I wanna do is open a fucking checking account." "I see," said the manager sympathetically. "And this BITCH is giving you trouble?"
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Working Late...
As mentioned in an earlier post, my office hardly works late. That said, there are always a few people left past 7pm.
As I was working late yesterday, I took a stroll around the office...
And I think I spied a colleague watching pr*n on his office computer. *snigger*
Now, I have no personal issues against men watching pr*n... but the colleague is this kwai kwai man in his forties, father of 2... which was kinda surprising for me. Didn't expect him to be d'l? stuff on his office comp. =P
As I was working late yesterday, I took a stroll around the office...
And I think I spied a colleague watching pr*n on his office computer. *snigger*
Now, I have no personal issues against men watching pr*n... but the colleague is this kwai kwai man in his forties, father of 2... which was kinda surprising for me. Didn't expect him to be d'l? stuff on his office comp. =P
Monday, August 25, 2008
Kallang Roar the Movie
Watch Kallang Roar the Movie over the weekend. I have a soft spot for "based on a true story" type movies and maybe thats why I thought this movie ROCKED!
Sure, it was a low budget film, with much room for improvement in its football scenes, casting and blue screen effects, but I applaud its tremendous effort in paying tribute to Uncle Choo and the Singapore Lions. In fact, many scenes with Lim Kay Siu gave me the goosebumps - that was how "connected" I was to the film.
Yes, my friends who watched it thought it was so bad it was funny, and that the director took his creative license too far - Fandi the one who woke Rajagopal from his drunken stupor? But I disagreed. Yes, had the movie been longer, I would have liked to have more character development of the players, but with regards to the creative license, isn't it what movies are all about? That the viewers should suspend their disbelief such that the film may be made more interesting?
Anyway, I liked the movie. Might go catch it again, for all its goose-bumply glory.
Sure, it was a low budget film, with much room for improvement in its football scenes, casting and blue screen effects, but I applaud its tremendous effort in paying tribute to Uncle Choo and the Singapore Lions. In fact, many scenes with Lim Kay Siu gave me the goosebumps - that was how "connected" I was to the film.
Yes, my friends who watched it thought it was so bad it was funny, and that the director took his creative license too far - Fandi the one who woke Rajagopal from his drunken stupor? But I disagreed. Yes, had the movie been longer, I would have liked to have more character development of the players, but with regards to the creative license, isn't it what movies are all about? That the viewers should suspend their disbelief such that the film may be made more interesting?
Anyway, I liked the movie. Might go catch it again, for all its goose-bumply glory.
No Man is Spared
Taken from CowboyCaleb
Not even David Beckham is spared from the cold shoulder when caught looking at other women. Haha!
Friday, August 22, 2008
Jokes for the Day
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "Everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone."
The man below says, "You must be in management."
"I am," replies the balloonist, "But how did you know?"
"Well," says the man, "You don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."
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At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal."
Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement: "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"
Not only that, but....
Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
Occasionally, executing a maneuver wouuld cause your car to stop an fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.
You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But, then you would have to buy more seats.
Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.
The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
The airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off.
If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.
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Why Email is Like a Penis
Some folks have it, some don't. Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off.
They think that those who don't have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power.
They are wrong. Those who don't have it may agree that it's a nifty toy, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who don't have it would like to try it.
It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done.
In the long distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time.
Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people would just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do.
It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark. Sometimes it's hard to tell what kind of person you're dealing with until it's too late.
If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread viruses.
It has no brain of its own. Instead it uses yours. If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.
We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.
If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.
It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will warp your behavior.
Later you may ask yourself, "Why on earth did I do that?"
It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will just do the same damn dumb things it did before.
The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "Everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone."
The man below says, "You must be in management."
"I am," replies the balloonist, "But how did you know?"
"Well," says the man, "You don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."
---
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal."
Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement: "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"
Not only that, but....
Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
Occasionally, executing a maneuver wouuld cause your car to stop an fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too.
You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But, then you would have to buy more seats.
Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.
The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
The airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off.
If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.
---
Why Email is Like a Penis
Some folks have it, some don't. Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off.
They think that those who don't have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power.
They are wrong. Those who don't have it may agree that it's a nifty toy, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who don't have it would like to try it.
It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done.
In the long distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time.
Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people would just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do.
It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark. Sometimes it's hard to tell what kind of person you're dealing with until it's too late.
If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread viruses.
It has no brain of its own. Instead it uses yours. If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.
We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.
If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.
It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will warp your behavior.
Later you may ask yourself, "Why on earth did I do that?"
It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will just do the same damn dumb things it did before.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Blond Jokes
There was a blonde who wanted to make some money, so she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. She went to the park and grabbed a boy and pulled him behind a tree. She wrote a note that said:
I've kidnapped your son! Leave a bag of 10,000 dollars next to this tree tomorrow at 3 pm.
-Signed: A Blonde.
Then she pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show his mom. She went back the next day and sure enough, there was a bag. She looked in the bag and found 10,000 dollars along with a note that said:
Here's your money, but how could you do this to a fellow blonde?
---
This Guy who owns a porno shop and has his friend watch the store while he runs some errands. While the owner is away in walks this brunette. She walks up to the counter and asks, "How much for that pink dildo up on the shelf?" The guy replies, "$25." She said, "I'll take it!"
A few minutes later in walks this redhead. She walks up to the counter and asks, "How much for that purple dildo up on the shelf?" The guy replies, "$50." She said, "I'll take it."
A while later this blonde walks in. Her eyes got as big as saucers. She walked up to the counter and asked, "How much for that big silver dildo on the shelf?" The guy replies, "$100." She pays him and leaves.
In walks the owner and asks how business was doing, and his friend replies, "I sold the pink dildo for $25, I sold the purple dildo for $50, and I sold your THERMOS for a $100."
---
A blonde named Anna had a near death experience. The other day when she went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. She tried with all her might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, her foot got caught in the stirrup. When this happened, she fell head first to the ground. Her head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just as she was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Wal-Mart manager happened to walk by and unplug it.
---
A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor, and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other. Sandy approached and asked if he was alright.
The boy said he was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself.
Approaching again, Sandy said, "Would you like me to be your friend?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Okay", looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here alone?"
"Because," the little boy said with great exasperation, "I'm the fucking goalie."
---
A bartender was working the late shift. While he was working, a beautiful blonde woman walked in and took a seat. She ordered up a Coors and sat there drinking it for a while. Suddenly, the woman passed out cold on the stool. The bartender had a sudden thought, and so he cautiously looked around. Seeing that no one was around, he closed up the bar, and took advantage of the situation.
The next night, the bartender was again working the late shift, but some of his friends stopped by, so he told them about the previous night and his good time with the blonde woman. All of a sudden, the blonde walks in again. The bartender motions to his friends that she is the same lady. The lady sits down at the bar and orders another Coors. Eventually, she passes out. The bartender closes up shop, and him and all of his friends take turns.
The next night, the bartender is working the late shift. His friends show up, with all of their friends, and so there is a huge crowd in the bar. The woman walks in again, orders a Coors, drinks it, and then passes out. So, the bartender closes up shop, and everyone has a turn.
The next night, even more people are waiting at the bar. The woman walks in and orders a Budweiser.
The bartender, his plans foiled, asks, "tYou don't want the usual?"
She looks at him and shakes her head. "No. Coors makes my pussy sore."
I've kidnapped your son! Leave a bag of 10,000 dollars next to this tree tomorrow at 3 pm.
-Signed: A Blonde.
Then she pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show his mom. She went back the next day and sure enough, there was a bag. She looked in the bag and found 10,000 dollars along with a note that said:
Here's your money, but how could you do this to a fellow blonde?
---
This Guy who owns a porno shop and has his friend watch the store while he runs some errands. While the owner is away in walks this brunette. She walks up to the counter and asks, "How much for that pink dildo up on the shelf?" The guy replies, "$25." She said, "I'll take it!"
A few minutes later in walks this redhead. She walks up to the counter and asks, "How much for that purple dildo up on the shelf?" The guy replies, "$50." She said, "I'll take it."
A while later this blonde walks in. Her eyes got as big as saucers. She walked up to the counter and asked, "How much for that big silver dildo on the shelf?" The guy replies, "$100." She pays him and leaves.
In walks the owner and asks how business was doing, and his friend replies, "I sold the pink dildo for $25, I sold the purple dildo for $50, and I sold your THERMOS for a $100."
---
A blonde named Anna had a near death experience. The other day when she went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. She tried with all her might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, her foot got caught in the stirrup. When this happened, she fell head first to the ground. Her head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just as she was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Wal-Mart manager happened to walk by and unplug it.
---
A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor, and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other. Sandy approached and asked if he was alright.
The boy said he was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself.
Approaching again, Sandy said, "Would you like me to be your friend?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Okay", looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here alone?"
"Because," the little boy said with great exasperation, "I'm the fucking goalie."
---
A bartender was working the late shift. While he was working, a beautiful blonde woman walked in and took a seat. She ordered up a Coors and sat there drinking it for a while. Suddenly, the woman passed out cold on the stool. The bartender had a sudden thought, and so he cautiously looked around. Seeing that no one was around, he closed up the bar, and took advantage of the situation.
The next night, the bartender was again working the late shift, but some of his friends stopped by, so he told them about the previous night and his good time with the blonde woman. All of a sudden, the blonde walks in again. The bartender motions to his friends that she is the same lady. The lady sits down at the bar and orders another Coors. Eventually, she passes out. The bartender closes up shop, and him and all of his friends take turns.
The next night, the bartender is working the late shift. His friends show up, with all of their friends, and so there is a huge crowd in the bar. The woman walks in again, orders a Coors, drinks it, and then passes out. So, the bartender closes up shop, and everyone has a turn.
The next night, even more people are waiting at the bar. The woman walks in and orders a Budweiser.
The bartender, his plans foiled, asks, "tYou don't want the usual?"
She looks at him and shakes her head. "No. Coors makes my pussy sore."
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Mystery Solved
When Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind statement but followed it by several remarks, usual between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he re-entered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark, "Good luck Mr. Gorsky".
Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.
Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the Good luck Mr. Gorsky statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.
Four years ago, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had finally died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.
When he was a kid, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit a fly ball which landed in the front of his neighbors' bedroom windows. His neighbors were Mr. & Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky.
"Oral sex? You want oral sex? You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"
Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.
Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the Good luck Mr. Gorsky statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.
Four years ago, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had finally died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.
When he was a kid, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit a fly ball which landed in the front of his neighbors' bedroom windows. His neighbors were Mr. & Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky.
"Oral sex? You want oral sex? You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"
Modesty Shmodesty...
Sometimes I read the papers that I have written and I am amazed at how much bullsh*t / intelligent work I can spew.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Joke of the Day
A Preacher wanted to raise money for his church and, being told there were fortunes in Race horses, he decided to purchase one and enter it in the races.However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so steep he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races, and to his surprise the donkey came in third. The next day the racing sheets carried the headlines,
"Preacher's Ass shows"
The Preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the races again and this time he won! The papers said,
"Preacher's Ass out in Front"
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The newspaper printed this headline,
"Bishop Scratches Preacher's Ass"
This was just too much for the Bishop and he ordered the Preacher to get rid of the animal. The Preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The headlines the next day read,
"Nun has the Best Ass in Town"
The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to dispose of the donkey and she finally found a farmer who was willing to buy it for $10.00. The paper states,
"Nun Peddles Ass for Ten Bucks"
They buried the Bishop the next day.
"Preacher's Ass shows"
The Preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the races again and this time he won! The papers said,
"Preacher's Ass out in Front"
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The newspaper printed this headline,
"Bishop Scratches Preacher's Ass"
This was just too much for the Bishop and he ordered the Preacher to get rid of the animal. The Preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The headlines the next day read,
"Nun has the Best Ass in Town"
The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to dispose of the donkey and she finally found a farmer who was willing to buy it for $10.00. The paper states,
"Nun Peddles Ass for Ten Bucks"
They buried the Bishop the next day.
What Is Your Sin?
| Greed: | High | |
| Gluttony: | Medium | |
| Wrath: | Medium | |
| Sloth: | Medium | |
| Envy: | High | |
| Lust: | Very High | |
| Pride: | High |
The Seven Deadly Sins Quiz on 4degreez.com
12 Lotus
Caught the movie 12 Lotus on Saturday.
I must say, Roystan Tan is a good director, with a good eye for angles and cinematics.
But I was quite disappointed in the movie to be honest. Don't get me wrong, it was not bad. Not an entire waste of time, but compared to 881, it paled in comparison.
I would have liked more songs, more glitz and of course, more of Mindee Ong. =P
I must say, Roystan Tan is a good director, with a good eye for angles and cinematics.
But I was quite disappointed in the movie to be honest. Don't get me wrong, it was not bad. Not an entire waste of time, but compared to 881, it paled in comparison.
I would have liked more songs, more glitz and of course, more of Mindee Ong. =P
Friday, August 15, 2008
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