Our FB Accounts Years From Now.

P.S. Stole this from someone else. Don't know who to credit this to. =)

Why Singapore was Passed Over for the Olympic Torch Relay

Taken from Talkingcock.com

It’s a real mystery why China didn’t choose Singapore to host part of the global Olympic Torch Relay. I mean, we’re supposed to be such close buddies, right? And we’re ethnically compatible. Our roads are so clean and so nice. Some more, we won’t even allow a kucing kurap guy like Chee Don Juan to protest, you think we’ll allow the Dalai Lama? We’d have made things really easy for China, but instead they chose Thailand lah, Malaysia lah, Indonesia lah, even Australia. Wah lau, let them con us over Suzhou also neh choose us! We speculate why:

1. Unlike other countries, Singapore actually wants more of our emigrants. So they must be something wrong.

2. Torch banned under No Smoking Campaign.

3. Singapore food sucks – not enough yummy mercury and formaldehyde.

4. We’ll have to pay a fortune in fines for spitting.

5. Singapore cancelled at the last minute – they couldn’t provide enough police escort because everyone kena redeployed to find that Masi Lemak guy.

6. All those Hokkien speakers make it too much like Taiwan for comfort.

7. Singapore Gahmen said they didn’t want it – if all the mainland Chinese in Singapore have to show up as supporters, who’s going to sell beer, clean tables, do massage, pleasure our old men, etc, etc? The economy will grind to a halt!

8. Singapore is already part of China, mah, so it doesn’t count.

Familying!

Photos from Family Day Out at the Singapore Flyer!

National Family Day!

Its the inaugural Family Day Out tomorrow as part of the National Family Day celebrations!

Many places are having discounts for family-based activities, so quick, take the opportunity to spend some quality time with your family at a discount!

Thanks to the organisers of NFD, my family and I are going onto the Singapore Flyer for free!!! Woopeedeedoo!

Tonight, by the way, is Eat with Your Family Day. So go home early, and have makan with your family!

The Honest Hawker

Have you ever had a refund from a hawker? One that you did not ask for?

There is this "famous" meat ball noodles in Kovan food centre, you know, the one next facing the florists?

So last Friday, I went there for lunch and ordered a Big noodle. The order arrived and the wife of the hawker handed me my 50cents change (when I was expecting none) because "her husband forgot to upsize" my order.

I was pleasantly surprised, and it made my day that such honesty still exists.

On the other hand, the noodles was not amazing and I don't understand why people wait in queue for 15 mins for it. The chilli is good, but too spicy for me.

Why Is The Penis Head Larger Than Its Shaft?

Published by xblogger May 14th, 2008 in General.

In the year 2000, the University Malaya did a study to see why the head of a man’s penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and RM200,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

After the study was published, the Universiti Sains Malaysia decided to do their own study. After RM500,000.00, and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

Nilai College, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of around RM50.00, they concluded that it was to keep a man’s hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.

Monday

A common (i think) refrain.

O, Monday.

Don't want to be here.

Have work but no mood to do.

O, fall quick, the sands of time.

The Sage of Our Times

Office Vultures

Office Vultures – a species related to the leech. Part mammalian, part slimy creature.

Habitat, lives in offices around the world and may usually be found lurking around pantries.

Distinguishing characteristcs – appearing whenever someone buys food for the office to share during lunch / tea break. This is usually followed by shamelessly snacking on food that he had no part off, and usually with poor hygiene.

Similar freeloading characteristics may be found in other expects of his work.

Grr....

F-ing Bank

Wife: Why are you so late? I was waiting for you.

Husband: Grr... There was a super-long queue at the eff-ing bank lah.

Eff-ing bank. Hurhur...

My Boss's New Car

With a certain amount of fanfare, my boss rolled in his new car into the office yesterday.
An Audi R8.
.
.
.
yabayaba...

Rant

Was over in Bintan during the weekend. The soft sand, gentle crashing of the waves, the beautiful sky... I really did not want to come back.

But Monday came and Singapore is sweltering hot. Even the a/c doesn't seem to cool things down...

Grr... in a foul mood today.