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Singapore gets dishonourable mention.
Just Talking to Myself. A Collection of Uncensored, Unadulterated Thoughts.
Courtesy of JG
WORST GAY PICK UP LINES
1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long.
2. (As you lick your finger and wipe on his shirt?) Now, let's get you out of these wet clothes.
3. Nice ass? What time does it open?
4. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
5. You've got 206 bones in your body. Would you like one more?
6. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
7. I may not be the best looking guy in here but I'm the only one talking to you.
8. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Cocked Bed Thrasher. Have you seen one?
9. Do you want to play army? I'll lie down and you can blow the hell out of me.
10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside of Wal-Mart so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
11. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought that was a Braille nametag.
12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
13. You might not be the best looking guy in here but beauty is only a light switch away.
14. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
15. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles and even farther for that little thing you do with your tongue.
16. If it's true that we are what eat, then I could be you by morning.
17. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
18. Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Easy Bottom?
19. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
20. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
21. Hi! I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
22. My name is John. Remember that? You'll be screaming it later.
23. My friend wants to know if you think I'm cute.
24. My name isn't Elmo but you can tickle me anywhere you want to.
25. I know milk does a body good but…DAMN! How much have you been drinking?
26. If you and I were the last men on earth, I'll bet we could do it in public.
27. Do you want to come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? You don't like pizza?
28. Dude, I'm an American Express lover? You shouldn't go home without me.
29. Do you sleep on your stomach? No??? Can I?
30. Do you wash your dreams in Windex, because I can see myself in them.
Your Inner Child Is Angry |
![]() You're not an angry person. But when you don't get your way, watch out. Like a very manipulative kid, you will get what you want. Even if it takes a little kicking and screaming. |
1. You say "the City" and expect everyone to know which one.
2. You have never been to The Tower of London or Madame Tussauds but love Brighton
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Shepherds Bush to Elephant & Castle at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Dorset on a map.
4. Hookers and the homeless are invisible.
5. You step over people who collapse on the Tube.
6. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
7. You've considered stabbing someone.
8. Your door has more than three locks.
9. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
10. You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a garden.
11. You consider Essex the "countryside".
12. You think Hyde Park is "nature".
13. You're paying £1,200 a month for a studio the size of a walk-in wardrobe and you think it's a "bargain".
14. Shopping in suburban supermarkets and shopping malls gives you a severe attack of agoraphobia.
15. You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the UK pay in rent.
16. You pay £3 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28p.
17. You actually take fashion seriously.
18. You have 27 different take-away menus next to your telephone.
19. The UK west of Heathrow is still theoretical to you.
20. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
21. Your idea of personal space is no one actually physically standing on you.
22. £50 worth of groceries fit in one plastic bag.
23. You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories.
24. You don't hear sirens anymore.
25. You've mentally blocked out all thoughts of the city's air/water quality and what it's doing to your insides.
26. You live in a building with a larger population than most towns.
27. Your cleaner is Portuguese, your grocer is Somali, your butcher is Halal, your deli man is Israeli, your landlord is Italian, your laundry guy is Filipino, your bartender is Australian, your favourite diner owner is Greek, the watch seller on your corner i s Senegalese, your last cabbie was African, your newsagent is Indian and your local English chippie owner is Turkish.
28. You wouldn't want to live anywhere else until you get married.
29. You roll your eyes and say 'tsk' at the news that someone has thrown themselves under a tube train.
30. Your day is ruined if you don't get a copy of Metro on the way to work.