TGIF

THE ONION AND THE CHRISTMAS TREE

The family is sitting at the dinner table. The son asks his father,
"Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?" The father, surprised,
answers, "Well son, there's three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a
woman's breasts are like melons, round & firm. In her thirties &
forties, they are like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit. After
fifty, they are like onions." "Onions?" "Yes, you see them, and they
make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter says, "Mom, how
many types of "willies" are there?" The mother, surprised, smiles and
answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties,
his willie is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties &
forties, it's like a birch tree, flexible but reliable. After his
fifties, it is like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree??"

"Yes dear, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."