Tap

I think the greatest trap after the end of any relationship is the one where you start feeling sorry for yourself.

I suppose that is why some people choose to surround themselves with friends, or perhaps fill their day up with activities so as not to give themselves time to think about things.

I had this conversation with someone the other morning, and she came to the conclusion that with regards to her ex, her tap was closed shut. I wanted to tell her that it was impossible to shut off one’s feelings for another totally, and emotions are not something we can just turn out backs to and move on easily. But perhaps I didn’t want to disagree with her, or perhaps at some level, I felt that there was some truth in her statement, so I left it at that.

I’ve tried this shutting of the tap for this past week, and it does help. It’s the convincing of yourself that there was no hope in this relationship, and that it is OVER. It helps in moving on, in carrying on with your life…

But then, like a shut tap, I won’t deny that there are moments of weakness, where a drop or two, of happy memories we once shared drip through the gap. There is nothing that can be done to prevent this, and in fact, it is good that this happens, cos it shows that you are still human, and not totally devoid of emotion.

But I guess its what you do with this droplet of memories. For me, its perhaps better to shut the tap tighter.