Truth Hurts

To all, who felt enslaved going back to work today.

The Wedding Crashers

I just watched The Wedding Crashers over the National Day holiday. Its supposed to be a humorous movie, laughs a minute... quirky lines... But it was also a romantic movie and it got me thinking... thinking about how tired I am... Oh well...

There is a line from the movie.

"What is true love? True love is when one soul aligns itself to another."

How true. Will I find true love then?

Note to self: Thou shalt not watch Romantic Movies immediately after a breakup - even if its with funny friends.

New Phone

I think I'd need a new phone soon. My current 6100 (which has served me faithfully) is dying on me. No signal, cannot detect sim card, soft rlngtone at times... It must be a Nokia thing, where its set to self-destrut after 3 years. B1's phone lasts about that long too. Oh well...

I'm thinking of getting a smart phone - either a Nokia 9300 or a Palm Treo. I'll need a full Qwerty and GPRS. And it cannot be so big that I lose periheral vision when I hold it against my ear. Oh, sms must ideally be simple and a one handed operation too.

B1 is advising me against getting one. He thinks it'll be wiser to stick to my current PDA & small phone combi. He reckons there would be situations where I won't appreciate having a mutha-freaking big phone in my pocket. Like during a night out for example.

That is true, though I'm usually carrying my Palm wherever I'm going at the moment. How?

Gentlemen Only

For the men only. (which is odd, since this was written by a girl)

Got a minute to spare? Read this, might change your life. (NSFW)

Its a Lazy Day...

Its the day before National Day... and in a show of Patriotism, most Singaporeans are leaving the country for short holidays if they can. Haha. I called my cousin, Lina this morning and she is leaving for Phuket with her hubby. Mom and Pops are intending to drive up to JB tomorrow for banking... they want me along, but I don't think I'll appreciate being stuck on the Causeway with half of Singapore. =)

Anyway, I'm home (sorry, just had to rub it in) and just have to finish some work I brought back later. But for now, its time for a good laugh (see comic above), a cuppa coffee and the daily newspaper...

Dilbert

Familiar? Ow. The pain...

MSG

My eyes are teary and swollen, heart rate is 120 - and I'm sitting down, breathing is haggard and my chest is tightening up. I feel ill. I want to crawl in bed and sleep it off.

But I can't.

Being allergic to MSG really sucks. Especially since all the cheap hawker food I am forced to eat at lunch (I'm not making big bucks) seem to be dosed generously with it.

Feeling ill. Eyes hurt and Brain is shutting off.

Damn it.

Lazy Friday

Lazy to type. Cut and paste from a friend. From Kenny Sia.

________

very quick one ... if you got time, go and look at this site: http://sisterfurongjiejie.blogspot.com/

CAN DIE LAUGHING!!! especially the "I so sweet!" entry, which reads:

"I SO Sweet! Men, please do not look at this picture unless you are sitting down. I do not want anyone to get hurt so take it easy. I SO SWEET! I cannot believe myself! So pretty! You believe it!" then you look at the picture and she looks like my brother's china tutor, who is a typical PRC auntie. can die laughing.

this is an actual person.

link via tiradeagainsthumanity.

4 Stages

This is about something I learnt when I was working in the Counselling Centre. This is courtesy of the training I recieved from my ex-colleague Jane. I was reminded of it last night as I was talking to someone over dinner.... Hmm... well, thanks to her, I got reminded and got more reflective.

There are 4 stages that usually happen after a relationship ends.

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Negotiation
4. Acceptance

Of course one might repeat the stages, that is, after Anger, one might return to Denial and so forth. Anyway, I was tethering between stages 3 and 4 till about yesterday. But today, after what happened yesterday, I think I'm at 4. Its over. The insecurities, the heartaches, the doubts, the longing.

I am me. Ain't nobody gonna change that. My friends love me for who I am, and I think the new people I've met these past weeks like what they see in me. It was just a bad fit previously. I've accepted that now. Messed up I am no more.

Today, begins a new day. And the rain, the bringer of purity and birth, that is falling heavily outside my office window, seems to tell me that too.

Meow

Was reading Wallflower, who is a close and dear friend of mine.

There is a 'discussion' of sorts going on there. Practically in love? Or emotionally in love?

Strikes a chord. Ouch. Oh well. Whatever.

Still f*cking hurts.

Stability

I was in a meeting with some clients yesterday and the conversation came to the issue of scalability and stability. It then struck me how important stability was in life.

I realised that it was what I was looking for. Boring as it might sound, stability is not such a bad thing. Well, only with stability can one take risks, right?

However, as I lay in bed last night, before falling asleep, I recognised that its a pretty chicken and egg problem. I would only find stability if I was stable myself. Because if not, then anything I look out for would be off tangent, and totally dependent on what erractic state I was in when I made the decision.

Realising how off equilibrium I am at this moment. Stability would not be found. Sigh. Why do these things always happen to me?

Bullsh*t

Somedays, one just has it bad at work.

Monday:

Boss started blaming me for something I did not do. Ok, that sounds wrong, but the thing was, I've been telling him that we should have taken Method A to please the client, but No.... he insisted that it was too much work and decided to use Method B instead. We almost lost the client in the meeting. And now, we are using Method A (client's choice). And suddenly its my fault. Sheesh. Sometimes I think that Boss is schizophrenic, and doesn't listen, or chooses to listen to opinions. (of course, he always asks for them - to test us). ARGH!!!!

We had another meeting - I couldn't worm myself out of it. It was a dinner thing that lasted till 11. All this time, I'm seething at Boss, and everything he said became gibberish to me cos I refused to listen. Which is not good if you are the minute taker. I'm going to have an interesting set of minutes to type.

Tuesday:

Boss comes waltzes in at 11 and decides that for the meeting at 5pm later today, I need to prepare an industry study including market share of client, competitors, potential investors et cetera. For fucks sake. I have enough to do already! I'm just going to smoke it through later. Wish me luck.

Friends:

Good and bad. Good was J calling me and talking about her relationship with her new man. Good was ST just listening when I blew my temper. Good was JY calling me and crapping on the phone till 2 this morning. Had a real good laugh with him, and oddly, it did help me sleep better. Bad was this misunderstanding I have with this one recent friend of mine. Oh well. Think I'd better wise up and watch my step with her before she really tears my head off.

Its been a long week, and its only Tuesday. Sigh.

Busy

Its been hell of a Monday, and going to be hell of a week ahead. Posts might be dry. Sorry readers.

The Island

I was at Junction 8 last night watching The Island. For awhile, I was worried that I'd not find anyone to watch it with. It was one of those movies with trailers that make you NOT want to catch it. However, good reviews online and people waxing lyrical about Scarlett and Ewan the plot whetted my appetite. I was worried that I'd had no one to watch it with because my buddy Ed, whom I always catch movies with has already upped and left for Aussieland. And my other usual partner, well...

Anyway, fortunately, someone had the same "pin in the backside" as me and did not mind watching a late nighter. The movie was good, plot was fast and exciting, cinematography was one of the better for an action movie...

You should go catch it. And oh, does anyone want to watch Fantastic 4 with me?

Haunted...

Sleep did not come easy last night, even after I've crawled into bed at 4... and read a book till 6. I imagined I would be tired by then, and hence would get undisturbed sleep... But once again, I was wrong.

I did go out like a light once I hit the sack, but I was haunted, haunted by dreams. I must have had 6 dreams last night, and the worse part of them was that they were the kind that one could remember vividly when you get up.

Dreams of grave digging, old people, friends... I wouldn't call them nightmares, cos they weren't exactly scary... Just oddly disturbing...

Oh well.

Ramblings

I woke up this morning at 9 even though I crawled into bed at 4. For some reason, something someone said last night burned in my head, and prevented me for getting some well needed rest after the long week.

As I sit in front of the computer, not exactly concentrating on the anime that's playing, a few random thoughts flitted through my head.

1. I am messed up. Really messed up. Sigh...

2. But fortunately, I don't have to clear a mess like my friend JY made with a woman.

3. I like rain... nothing beats sitting in your bed, hearing the rain on the roof, a book in hand, and jazz in the background.

4. Weekends are good. I love the fact that I can hang around in my shorts, and go out in slippers. Tie and monkey suit - away.

5. Went to the kitchen. Rain floods the drains around my house. Usually the vermin that live in these deep recesses run for dry land. Kitchen smells of cockcroaches. Mom's going to have a fit later.

6. Why did I do something THAT silly last night? Crazy. Look at Point 1.

Oh well, have a good weekend people. I know I will.

Heart

My boss went to see his cardiologist yesterday. Apparently, he felt 'tightness' in his chest at lunch. I think he is a hypocondriac and a worrier, because he did not have the classic symptoms of a heart attack. You know, cold clammy skin, numbness in his arms et cetera. But hey, I'm not going to tell him he needn't see his doctor....

What I didn't tell him was that if I was like him, I would have been warded for chest pains all of last week.

And then, today, she said hi. My heart skipped a beat. In fact, its going into overdrive now. Feeling quite ill.

Sigh. Be still, my heart.

Its in your head...

Have you ever heard a song and then it subconciously imprints itself in your head?

The song stuck in my head now is Angels by Robbie Williams. In fact, I'm subconciously humming it...

Angels

Sometimes... For example during this rough patch I'm going through...

I'm glad that I have Angels in my life.

You know who you are.

S

Just realised that my last 5 posts were entitled with a subject that started with the letter 'S'. Odd coincidence.