So, someone asked me how I was feeling since my recent breakup.
My reply was that now, I just feel blank. Its not relief, sadness, anger, a sense of loss or the other typical gamut of emotions one might run through the course before final acceptance of the situation. And it is different from a feeling of nothingness or indifference, which might be as a result of a) hardening your heart to the feelings; b) you are a b*stard and didn't love her at all; c) not thinking about it at all; d) general nonchalance; e) giving up on love.
Its hard to describe this feeling of blank.
One can reach there for various reasons.
For me, I think it might be a case that somewhere deep inside my sub-conscious, I'm glad it ended. It's like I dodged a bullet or something. Like I have been able to convince myself that its better for it to have ended now then after marriage. But that my consciousness (and maybe morality) feels the need to be sad, pensive or just generally down.
This conflict of conscious and sub-conscious emotions result in blank.
Makes sense?
My reply was that now, I just feel blank. Its not relief, sadness, anger, a sense of loss or the other typical gamut of emotions one might run through the course before final acceptance of the situation. And it is different from a feeling of nothingness or indifference, which might be as a result of a) hardening your heart to the feelings; b) you are a b*stard and didn't love her at all; c) not thinking about it at all; d) general nonchalance; e) giving up on love.
Its hard to describe this feeling of blank.
One can reach there for various reasons.
For me, I think it might be a case that somewhere deep inside my sub-conscious, I'm glad it ended. It's like I dodged a bullet or something. Like I have been able to convince myself that its better for it to have ended now then after marriage. But that my consciousness (and maybe morality) feels the need to be sad, pensive or just generally down.
This conflict of conscious and sub-conscious emotions result in blank.
Makes sense?
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