The New Audi R8. Launch 1Q 2007. Hubba hubba
Friday, September 29, 2006
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
For the (MC) Pig in Me
Men strike back!
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it
-----------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
-----------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-----------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
-----------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-----------------------------
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
-----------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-----------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
-----------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-----------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
-----------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
-----------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
-----------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
-----------------------------
Monday, September 25, 2006
Itchy and Scratchy
An itchy nose...
A scratchy throat...
A thirst that does not go away...
A smoky smell in the air...
Yep, the annual haze is back.
Drink more water guys. Oh, and there is apparently a cough epidemic going around. Watch where you breathe!
A scratchy throat...
A thirst that does not go away...
A smoky smell in the air...
Yep, the annual haze is back.
Drink more water guys. Oh, and there is apparently a cough epidemic going around. Watch where you breathe!
Friday, September 22, 2006
Coffee
She wakes me up in the best way. A warm embrace and her intoxicating smell. I purse my lips to taste her. She is as usual sweet, aromatic and intensely strong.
What would I do without my morning cup of coffee.
What would I do without my morning cup of coffee.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Lawyer Jokes
10 things that sound dirty in a law firm / court room but aren't:
1. Have you looked through her briefs?
2. He is a hard one, judge.
3. Counselor, lets do it in the chambers.
4. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.
5. Is it a penal offense?
6. Better leave the handcuffs on.
7. $200 an hour?!! She'd better be damn good.
8. Can you get him to drop his suit?
9. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
10. Do you think you can get me off?
1. Have you looked through her briefs?
2. He is a hard one, judge.
3. Counselor, lets do it in the chambers.
4. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.
5. Is it a penal offense?
6. Better leave the handcuffs on.
7. $200 an hour?!! She'd better be damn good.
8. Can you get him to drop his suit?
9. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
10. Do you think you can get me off?
Contemplations...
A selection of a few random thoughts that went through my head yesterday...
1. There are 14 weeks left in the year 2006. I have 14 days of leave remaining. Shall I take one day a week off for the rest of the year? Effectively giving me a 4-day work week? Wonder if my boss will flip.
2. I need to sleep earlier. Did you know that half of all Singaporeans sleep past midnight? Did you know that the lack of sleep is a cause of obesity as it messes up hormones controlling metabolism and hunger supression? I blame my weight gain on the lack of sleep. =P
3. You always know when people are buying dinner for one. And I think its quite sad. I was standing in the supermarket queue behind this lady last evening. She was about 40, nicely groomed and fair. She bought 6 small Neu potatoes and a value pack of cocktail sausages. Definately dinner for one. The sight brought back memories of when I was in college. Cooking and dining for one was always depressing. But what choice did we have? If we buy stuff in family sized packs, they tend to spoil before we even get to the last piece.
4. Why do bald men carry combs? Saw this on an Indian man in the bus on the way home. And its not a normal comb mind you. Its one of those Ah-Beng long handle combs. Baffling.
1. There are 14 weeks left in the year 2006. I have 14 days of leave remaining. Shall I take one day a week off for the rest of the year? Effectively giving me a 4-day work week? Wonder if my boss will flip.
2. I need to sleep earlier. Did you know that half of all Singaporeans sleep past midnight? Did you know that the lack of sleep is a cause of obesity as it messes up hormones controlling metabolism and hunger supression? I blame my weight gain on the lack of sleep. =P
3. You always know when people are buying dinner for one. And I think its quite sad. I was standing in the supermarket queue behind this lady last evening. She was about 40, nicely groomed and fair. She bought 6 small Neu potatoes and a value pack of cocktail sausages. Definately dinner for one. The sight brought back memories of when I was in college. Cooking and dining for one was always depressing. But what choice did we have? If we buy stuff in family sized packs, they tend to spoil before we even get to the last piece.
4. Why do bald men carry combs? Saw this on an Indian man in the bus on the way home. And its not a normal comb mind you. Its one of those Ah-Beng long handle combs. Baffling.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Life is...
Life is tiring... and often frustrating. Life makes being marooned on a deserted island seem more like a blessing instead of a curse. Life makes living weary...Sigh.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Blues...
The weekend is never long enough.... Not especially when it takes a day to get over Mondays to Fridays.
I was a bad boy last night. Refused to turn in. Slept at 3 instead. Now I'm off to a bad start on a Monday morning.
Doesn't help when your gf is still sleeping at home, on a rainy, grey afternoon.
Doesn't help when you have people you want to chortle at work.
Doesn't help when the office upstairs is being renovated and the sound of the drills and hacking is driving me crazy.
Doesn't help when you have to come in on Monday and play politician.
Doesn't help when there is so much more I want to do outside of the office.
Grr...
I was a bad boy last night. Refused to turn in. Slept at 3 instead. Now I'm off to a bad start on a Monday morning.
Doesn't help when your gf is still sleeping at home, on a rainy, grey afternoon.
Doesn't help when you have people you want to chortle at work.
Doesn't help when the office upstairs is being renovated and the sound of the drills and hacking is driving me crazy.
Doesn't help when you have to come in on Monday and play politician.
Doesn't help when there is so much more I want to do outside of the office.
Grr...
Birthday Greetings
To:
A year older! A year wiser!
Desmond, Chernwei, Daniel Tan, Stephanie, Amos, Christina, Jody, Sarah, Suyin, Sumei, Gabriel, Ann, Ping Hao and Veronica...
A year older! A year wiser!
Friday, September 15, 2006
Rain
The canal outside my office floods.
Swirling brackish water, churning with brown silt and detritus that collides and parts.
But moving in unison, towards the open sea.
Beautiful, Organised, Chaos.
Swirling brackish water, churning with brown silt and detritus that collides and parts.
But moving in unison, towards the open sea.
Beautiful, Organised, Chaos.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
An Amazing Invention
Ever had to sign up on a dodgy website that required you to give up your email address?
Tired of being spammed as a result?
Here is a solution!
Pookmail
Create an email address that lasts 24 hours which self destructs after! Go try it!
Tired of being spammed as a result?
Here is a solution!
Pookmail
Create an email address that lasts 24 hours which self destructs after! Go try it!
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