New Words
* TESTICULATING.
Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.
* BLAMESTORMING.
Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a Project failed, and who was responsible.
* SEAGULL MANAGER.
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and
Then leaves.
* ASSMOSIS.
The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by
sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
* SALMON DAY.
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.
* CUBE FARM.
An office filled with cubicles.
* PRAIRIE DOGGING.
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and
people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)
* SITCOMs.
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".
* SINBAD.
Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.
* PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
* ADMINISPHERE.
The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly
inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to
solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.
* 404.
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found" meaning that the requested document could not be located.
* OH - NO SECOND.
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just
Made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').
* JOHNNY-NO-STARS.
A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who
works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges
displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show
their level of training.
* GOING FOR A McSHIT.
Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food,
you're just going to the bog.(Loo) If challenged by a pimply staff member,
your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known
as a McShit with Lies.
* MILLENNIUM DOMES.
The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from
The outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.
* SALAD DODGER.
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
* SWAMP-DONKEY
A deeply unattractive person.
* MYSTERY BUS.
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the
Toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so
the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
* MYSTERY TAXI.
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake
up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your
bed instead.
* BEER COAT.
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise
At 3:00am.
* BEER COMPASS.
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze
cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how
you got here, and where you've come from.
* BREAKING THE SEAL.
Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After
breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be
required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.
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