OMFG - This site is darn accurate!

Take the test here.

Enough is enough - you feel frustrated and rejected. You are fighting back and the going is tough. It would be just wonderful if you could be left in peace.

In the past there have been - and maybe there still are - many things that you have had to do without. You have now decided to set your sights on a position or situation that could give you greater prestige and which will afford you considerable self esteem.

Many people will consider you egotistical and full of your own self importance. On the surface you could well give this impression and perhaps the reason for this complacent attitude is because at times you indeed have that 'short fuse' and are quick to take offence.

The tension that you are experiencing at this time is perhaps due to physical and/or mental frustration. It would appear that you are not appreciated and as a consequence, the situation is most disagreeable. You seek personal recognition and the appreciation of others to compensate for the lack of like minded people with whom to ally yourself. You would like to surrender and merge with others but your inherent self-restraint makes it difficult for you to open up. This disturbs you as you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You want to be liked, admired and appreciated for yourself.

The need for admiration and to be regarded as 'someone special' is perhaps one of the foremost aims in your life at this time. You would like to perhaps do something outrageous or anything that will give you the chance to be recognised as someone special. This desire has now almost become an obsession and in your own way you are trying to fulfil this 'complex' by ensuring you are the centre of attention, both at work or play, or in the home. Stop trying so hard and you will find that people will like you for who you are - not for who you are pretending to be.

Thursday

I have a funny feeling today is going to be a bad day. Hope not.

Anyway, here's Elisa Cuthbert to spice up everyone's day.

It Wasn't Me - honest!

Proof that people can have sex whilst sleepwalking. Great excuse eh?

All Bad Things Happen on Mondays

Monday. New week, new dilemma... =(

Public Service Announcement of the Day

6 Weird Things About Me

Got tagged by Lex.

And here are the rules.

These are the rules: Each player of this game starts out by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog!

1. I love girly shows like Grey's Anatomy, Meteor Garden. And still may drop a tear or two watching Hugh Grant's romantic movies like 4 Weddings and a Funeral. But I'm also a male chauvinist. Weird.

2. I like to scratch my head and sniff my hands after.

3. I cannot wear tight clothing / jeans / gloves because I imagine that I'm being suffocated.

4. I have follow certain rituals in the false belief that it will affect my day. For example, I only take the lifts on the left side of the building every morning.

5. I think I'm bi-polar. One moment happy, the next immediate moment grumpy.

6. I get terrified when babies and women cry around me.

6 Persons to Tag:
Rench
Gavomp
Wallflower
Mrs Cable-Guy
Jeremy G
Paranoid Android

The Sun Still Rises

Life goes on, and so must we.

Why die inside when you are living and have many more things to see and experience?

We all get tired. And then we must rest.

Jokes

Man comes home, finds his wife with his

friend in bed. He shoots his friend and kills him.

Wife says, "If you keep on behaving like this, you'll

lose ALL your friends"

****************************************

A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus, "Send me a brother."

Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"

****************************************

What is the definition of Mistress?

Someone between the Mister and Mattress.

****************************************

Husband asks spouse, "Do you know the meaning of

W.I.F.E.??

It's Without Information, Fighting Every time."

Wife replies, "No, It means, With Idiot For Ever!"

***************************************

What's the difference between stress, tension, and

panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant.

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant.

Panic is when both are pregnant.

***************************************

Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?

Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed

one, and my mom fainted, dad had a heart attack, & our

neighbour ran away.

***************************************

A women asks a man who is traveling with six children,

"Are all these kids yours??"

The man replies sarcastically, "No, I work in a condom

factory and these are customer complaints."

***************************************

A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference

between confident and confidential?"

Dad says, "You are my son. I'm confident about that.

Your friend over there is also my son. That's

confidential!"

One Very Screwed Person

a.k.a. one soon to be very screwed bits of flesh

One Girl Crazy In Love

Sorry for the lack of "original" updates. Work has been driving me mad recently so I didn't have the time besides cutting-and-pasting funny stuff people send me.

But something threw me off this morning.

I present to you - a girl who is crazy in love with The Father. (You have to read the comments)

The link is from Cowboy Caleb.

The issue here is one of opinions and being open minded enough to agree-to-agree, and agree-to-disagree. Its a religious debate sparked off by Agagooga who expressed his negative views on Christianity and Cheryl-be-good (aka the "girl") who is going about her religious crusade to flame Agagooga.

Go read the blog, and see how hilarious it has all become. On the right, the little girl who squats in the corner, closes her eyes tightly shut and covers her ears. She deletes negative comments (which she is entitled to do - since its her blog) but at the same time gets cross at other Christians who suggest she should have Jesus in her heart and take a milder stand on things.

On the left, there are good people who try to reason with her. I don't understand why they bother.

Religious Fanaticism affects all religions. Be it the Muslims who go "Jihad!!!", Christians who refuse to befriend you cos "you will burn in hell in eternity, so why be friends now for our mortal life", and Taoists / Buddhists who burn paper to drink and believe whatever the medium tells them, even if its to have sex with them to cleanse their bodies.

Take a chill pill everyone.

Anyway, the "girl" is cute but I think, a nutjob. (Hey, its my blog... I'm entitled to my own opinions!) =P

Have a good friday everyone!

30 Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

I was the best man at the wedding. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him? It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. What is a date really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you’ll wind up naked. You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, "See if you can blow this out." Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge. Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash. That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked." According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy. Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. "Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here." Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? "Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel." Why do they call it a "building"? It looks like they're finished. Why isn't it a "built"? People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur. The big advantage of a book is it's very easy to rewind. Close it and you're right back at the beginning. I have a friend who’s collecting unemployment insurance. This guy has never worked so hard in his life as he has to keep this thing going. He’s down there every week, waiting on the lines and getting interviewed and making up all these lies about looking for jobs. If they had any idea of the effort and energy that he is expending to avoid work, I’m sure they’d give him a raise. To me, a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our pieces around the board, but if there is a problem the lawyer is the only person who has read the inside of the top of the box. Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV. The idea behind the tuxedo is the woman's point of view that men are all the same; so we might as well dress them that way. That's why a wedding is like the joining together of a beautiful, glowing bride and some guy. The tuxedo is a wedding safety device, created by women because they know that men are undependable. So in case the groom chickens out, everybody just takes one step over, and she marries the next guy. My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty, and that's the law. I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can't smell it. Can't eat it. Can't taste it. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera, "Well, here it is. You can't have any. Thanks for watching. Goodbye." Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door. See, the thing of it is, there's a lot of ugly people out there walking around but they don't know they're ugly because nobody actually tells them. What would the world be like if people said whatever they were thinking, all the time, whenever it came to them? How long would a blind date last? About 13 seconds, I think. "Oh, sorry, your rear end is too big." "That's ok, your breath stinks anyway. See you later." You know what I never get with the limo? The tinted windows. Is that so people don't see you? Yeah, what a better way not to have people notice you than taking a thirty foot Cadillac with a TV antenna and a uniformed driver. How discreet. Nobody cares who's in the limo. You see a limo go by, you know it's either some rich jerk or fifty prom kids with $1.75 each. You can measure distance by time. "How far away is it?" "Oh about 20 minutes." But it doesn't work the other way. "When do you get off work?" "Around 3 miles." Are there keys to a plane? Maybe that's what those delays are sometimes, when you're just sitting there at the gate. Maybe the pilot sits up there in the cockpit going, "Oh, I don't believe this. Dammit..I did it again." They tell you it's something mechanical because they don't want to come on the P.A. system, "Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to be delayed here on the ground for a while. I uh..Oh, God this is so embarrassing...I, I left the keys to the plane in my apartment. They're in this big ashtray by the front door. I'm sorry, I'll run back and get them." I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain. Why does moisture ruin leather? Aren't cows outside a lot of the time? When it's raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, "Let us in! We're all wearing leather! Open the door! We're going to ruin the whole outfit here!"

Witty Intelligent Insults

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?
-- Fred Allen

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
-- Jimmy Durante

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.
-- David Letterman

She is the original good time that was had by all.
-- Bette Davis

It is guaranteed to put all teeth on edge, including George Washington's, wherever they might be.
-- Vincent Canby

He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met.
-- Abraham Lincoln

I do not know the American gentleman, God forgive me for putting two such words together.
-- Charles Dickens

No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have, and I think he's a dirty little beast.
-- W. S. Gilbert

You must come again when you have less time.
-- Walter Sickert

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means put down.
-- Bob Newhart

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off.
-- Lyndon Baines Johnson

Who picks your clothes -- Stevie Wonder?
-- Don Rickles

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
-- Winston Churchill

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.
-- Dorothy Parker on Katharine Hepburn

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
-- Groucho Marx

Her virtue was that she said what she thought, her vice that what she thought didn't amount to much.
-- Peter Ustinov

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
-- Woody Allen

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.
-- Mark Twain

I heard his library burned down and both books were destroyed -- and one of them hadn't even been colored in yet.
-- Robertson Davies

He has all the characteristics of a dog --- except loyalty.
-- Sam Houston

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
-- Winston Churchill

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams

Me and Busuk-Busuk

I didn't realise...

...but you have become my busuk-busuk...

33 Facts About Guys - Is this Fiction?

33 Facts about Guys

1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys hate flirts.
3.When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.
4. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
5. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.
6. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
7. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.
8. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.
9. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow".
10. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.
11. Guys love their moms.
12. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.
13. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.
14. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.
15. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.
16. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.
17. Like Eve, girls are guys' weaknesses.
18. Guys are very open about themselves.
19. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let him wait that long.
20. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.
21. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that much pretty.
22. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.
23. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
24. Guys keep secrets that girl tells them.
25. Guys think too much.
26. Guy's fantasies are unlimited.
27. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight does!
28. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!
29. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.
30. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.
31. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.
32. Guys hate girls who overreact.
33. Guys love you more than you love them IF they are serious in your relationships.

Crashed Veyron

Q: Whats more painful than crashing a Ferrari Enzo?
A: Crashing a Bugatti Veyron. Ouch.

Rea-Ex-Tion

Singapore is a small place. But not that small either considering how rarely I run into people I used to date.

I've always thought about how I should react if and when I run into some of them. Granted that we did not quite work out, but hey, she definately had some endearing qualities which made us go out in the first place. So why not keep it cordial and perhaps we could be friends right?

In my opinion, how one reacts to running into an ex the first time determines the reaction of all future run-ins!

Hence, the plan was to devise a strategy that exudes warmth and who knows, we might end up as friends after all? So clever right?

Ideally.

So I ran into an ex yesterday at a popular shopping destination. And guess what I did? I pretended I didnt see her and walked past her. We were 1 metre apart. Haha..

So much for planning.

Celebrity Sex Quote #11

Did you ever notice the people who are most adamantly against abortions are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?

- George Carlin

Hilarious. NSFW - Don't Click to Enlarge in the Office

Celebrity Sex Quote #10

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

- Robin Williams

Rain

Whenever it rains so heavily like today, the canal outside my office gets flooded and swollen with dark, murky and swirling waters.

Its times like this I look out of the window, and wonder if one day I'll catch a glimpse of a floating body, dumped in another canal elsewhere and washed downstream by the torrential waters.

Weird. I know.

On another note, work sucks.

Which One Shall I Get?

I've been thinking of getting a PDA phone for a long time. And I've narrowed it down to 2 models, which are essentially the same product.

The O2 Zinc. Almost identical to the Dopod 838 Pro below except it has a faster Intel processor at 520mHz, looks better. It has had bad reviews though.

The Dopod 838 Pro. Manufactures the O2 Zinc. Slower processor (400 mHz) but not bad reviews, has ironed out its initial kinks and its Quadband compared to Tri-band for the O2.

As mentioned above, the 2 phones are identical in every other way. Same manufacturer, OS, functions. How how? Can someone advise me?

Asleep

As I'm typing this know, I know my mind is still asleep.

I'm kinda amazed at how I can be physically out of bed but my mind is Zzzz and running in automatic mode. Kind of like how Adam Sandler was in "Click" when he fastforward the shitty parts of his life.

In this mode I would probably not remember most of what I've seen / do.

I don't talk much.

I'm at work now.

Sorry, cannot seem to link coherent sentences together. Urgh.