Hubba Hubba

The New Audi R8. Launch 1Q 2007. Hubba hubba

I want to go back to school!!!

ACJC Open House poster. I want to go back to school!!! Haha...

Headlines

British woman suffers from permanent arousal syndrome. That's bad?

Maggi Q

For the (MC) Pig in Me

Men strike back!

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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Itchy and Scratchy

An itchy nose...

A scratchy throat...

A thirst that does not go away...

A smoky smell in the air...

Yep, the annual haze is back.

Drink more water guys. Oh, and there is apparently a cough epidemic going around. Watch where you breathe!

New Seasons are Up!

Coffee

She wakes me up in the best way. A warm embrace and her intoxicating smell. I purse my lips to taste her. She is as usual sweet, aromatic and intensely strong.

What would I do without my morning cup of coffee.

Lawyer Jokes

10 things that sound dirty in a law firm / court room but aren't:

1. Have you looked through her briefs?

2. He is a hard one, judge.

3. Counselor, lets do it in the chambers.

4. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.

5. Is it a penal offense?

6. Better leave the handcuffs on.

7. $200 an hour?!! She'd better be damn good.

8. Can you get him to drop his suit?

9. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.

10. Do you think you can get me off?

Lucy Liu, the Girl Next Door...

For the Ladies...

Contemplations...

A selection of a few random thoughts that went through my head yesterday...

1. There are 14 weeks left in the year 2006. I have 14 days of leave remaining. Shall I take one day a week off for the rest of the year? Effectively giving me a 4-day work week? Wonder if my boss will flip.

2. I need to sleep earlier. Did you know that half of all Singaporeans sleep past midnight? Did you know that the lack of sleep is a cause of obesity as it messes up hormones controlling metabolism and hunger supression? I blame my weight gain on the lack of sleep. =P

3. You always know when people are buying dinner for one. And I think its quite sad. I was standing in the supermarket queue behind this lady last evening. She was about 40, nicely groomed and fair. She bought 6 small Neu potatoes and a value pack of cocktail sausages. Definately dinner for one. The sight brought back memories of when I was in college. Cooking and dining for one was always depressing. But what choice did we have? If we buy stuff in family sized packs, they tend to spoil before we even get to the last piece.

4. Why do bald men carry combs? Saw this on an Indian man in the bus on the way home. And its not a normal comb mind you. Its one of those Ah-Beng long handle combs. Baffling.

More Duh

I wonder why...

If Condoms had Sponsors

Life is...

Life is tiring... and often frustrating. Life makes being marooned on a deserted island seem more like a blessing instead of a curse. Life makes living weary...

Sigh.

Obvious

Duh.

Blues...

The weekend is never long enough.... Not especially when it takes a day to get over Mondays to Fridays.

I was a bad boy last night. Refused to turn in. Slept at 3 instead. Now I'm off to a bad start on a Monday morning.

Doesn't help when your gf is still sleeping at home, on a rainy, grey afternoon.

Doesn't help when you have people you want to chortle at work.

Doesn't help when the office upstairs is being renovated and the sound of the drills and hacking is driving me crazy.

Doesn't help when you have to come in on Monday and play politician.

Doesn't help when there is so much more I want to do outside of the office.

Grr...

Birthday Greetings

To:

Desmond, Chernwei, Daniel Tan, Stephanie, Amos, Christina, Jody, Sarah, Suyin, Sumei, Gabriel, Ann, Ping Hao and Veronica...

A year older! A year wiser!

Rain

The canal outside my office floods.

Swirling brackish water, churning with brown silt and detritus that collides and parts.

But moving in unison, towards the open sea.

Beautiful, Organised, Chaos.

An Amazing Invention

Ever had to sign up on a dodgy website that required you to give up your email address?

Tired of being spammed as a result?

Here is a solution!

Pookmail

Create an email address that lasts 24 hours which self destructs after! Go try it!

A Lot of Birthdays in September

To all the September babies! Happy Birthday!

You are not getting older, just funnier!

Congratulations!

A Big Congrats to my dear friends, the Bakers who were joined in matrimony on the 5th of September 2006, in Santorini, Greece.

Sorry I couldn't be there!

Skills Honed By Time...

I have a very old main gate. Its made of cast iron, with a design that looks like it has existed since colonial days. The key to this said gate is made of brass, and looks like one of those old keys that might open prison doors.

When we took over the house a decade ago, we made several copies of the key... I don't know how or where my parents did it, but it was done.

With a decade of use and abuse, several of the keys have now been worn down. They still work, but where the bumps and raised lumps used to be is now a flat, smooth and shiny surface.

I decided that I needed a new key cos mine was all bent out of shape. (the door is heavy and I use the key as a handle to pull it open - ha!)

However, we traversed the whole of Singapore looking for a Mr Minute (or equivalent) to do a copy.

Most shops did not have the template key- they turned me away.

Some shops tried to machine me a key - but they did not work.

I almost gave up looking.

Till last Friday, as B3, the GF and I were walking down Joo Chiat, we spied an old man sitting along the side of the 5 foot way. He was dressed simply in a white singlet and what suspiciously looked like pyjamas. Next to him was a key making machine, and a box of his tools. I thought to myself, "let's give it one last shot" and handed the key to him.

He examined the key closely, and turned to the pile of what I thought was trash behind him and started rummaging through it. He pulled out a template key, sat down next to his tools and started filing away with a straight file.

I looked in disbelief as this man was making a key from scratch, without using a machine! I must admit, I didn't think the key would work, but figured that he needed the $4 more than I did.

I let him continue and in 5 mins it was done. Complete with a little key ring that he gave as an "extra".

He smiled a toothless grin as I handed him the cash and thanked him in whatever dialect I knew. Grasping the key in hand, I walked away, expecting to have to throw this key away, like the previous ones I had made.

But lo and behold! I reached home and put the key in the door. "Click". It works!

Therein lies the magic of experience and skills honed by time. A man who made a key that modern machines could not replicate, using just his experience, good eyes and a steady hand.

I was very impressed.

Must Read - via Littlespeck

Football
Abuses and taunts
China-Vs-Singapore Asian Cup game shows large foreign influx holds potentials for friction. By Seah Chiang Nee.
Sep 9, 2006

A newspaper (Lianhe Wanbao) has reported that Singaporeans almost got into a fight with mainland-Chinese fans, many of them permanent residents (PRs), during Wednesday's Asian Cup qualifying match at Kallang stadium.

Both sides were hurling abuses at each other. Some locals, who were outnumbered, were yelling at them to "go back to China."

During the match, some mainlanders moved in front of a section of the Singapore crowd to wave their flag and taunt the people around, according to one eyewitness.

Another Singaporean said, "I thought I was in China - not Kallang stadium. There are so many China supporters; I think 80% of the seats in the grandstand was filled up by mainland Chinese."

He was worried by the implications. "Is this the beginning of something very seriously wrong? I think this is just the tip of the iceberg, with more FT coming.

"I think it will have a very serious social impact on our country."

A Chinese fan said he and his colleagues went to show support for the home team, China and felt that Singaporeans were not supportive enough of their national side. "They probably think that they've nothing to gain from going."

Some see it as a blow for Singapore soccer and its 'foreign talent' policy, proving that the government's effort to lure Chinese mainlanders (among others) to settle here as loyal citizens.

One critic said this would not work because "in the end, they will still support their motherland"

A more sober voice: "As PRs - not citizens - the mainlanders keep their loyalty to China. All it means is that they want to reside and work here, nothing more."

But he added, "It's only some silly Singaporean politicans who believe that money can buy people's loyalty."

The Chinese are not the only targets; others like the Indians and Westerners have occasionally been included.

Not long ago, some south Asians, especially Bangladeshis, were accused to have molested local girls along Orchard Road during busy festivals.

The incident reveals the underlying feelings Singaporeans have towards 'foreign talents" despite Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong's appeal for people to welcome them and make them feel at home.

Many Chinese PRs here are very proud of their country and sometimes behave arrogantly towards Asians.

Because of their large numbers in Singapore - still growing - this could result in a clash one day that no one wants.

Unruly behaviour is alien to the Singaporean fans and soccer riots are not likely except under extreme provocation.

A Shanghai sports channel commentator said it was the first time in an away-match in which PRC supporters outnumbered home fans. The camera then covered the sea of PRC flags being waved inside and outside the stadium.

He then interviewed some mainlanders, most of whom were either working or studying here. Some one shouted, "zhu3 guo2 wan4 sui4' ("ten thousand years of motherland".)

There are two interpretations of what had happened.

One is that it was normal zeal by sports supporters, so Chinese residents in Singapore supporting their national team was a natural thing.

Secondly, it's not just about cheering for the home team. Singapore is seen as offering jobs and PRs to a large number of them, even at the expense of locals, only to have them running down their hosts.

There was, however, one soothing outcome to all this.

Despite its cheering fans, China - with a 1.3b population - was held to a goal-less draw by tiny Singapore (4m people) in an Asian Cup qualifying round.

Ten thousand cheers to the national team!

By Seah Chiang Nee.

Monday Blues

A day off work and you return to a pile of work the size of Everest.

Clients call at 9.

New colleague.

Had a good weekend.

Walked down Joo Chiat with my brother, met some friends for drinks after. Tried to hook a friend up with a Miss Universe contestant. Excellent curry dinner on Saturday. Slept a lot on Sunday.

No shite... Monday blues.

I have found The One

I have finally found the phone of my dreams. The Sony Ericsson 990i.
Hubba hubba.

I need a break...

Tour of Singapore tomorrow!

Eva

Motivation

I know this blog has become NSFW. But who cares?

Friends

My thoughts have been about my friends recently.

But I haven't had the time to call/mail/meet them.

If I haven't called you in awhile. It doesn't mean I've forgotten / or am not thinking about you.

Sorry.

Stupid as Stupid Does

I work with a number of stupid people.

They create problems.

Other people come to me like an agony aunt about said problems.

I hate stupid people.

Why don't they just cease to exist?

Thank goodness its Friday!